Baptism
I started the day in the normal manner; I cooked breakfast and cleaned up around the house. I was really determined not to try and do too much this day so that the end of it wouldn’t frazzle me.
Seth really wanted to watch a movie so we watched Reno 911: Miami. It got me thinking that movies might just be the perfect way to keep me relaxed and still during the day until it was time for me to take my ritual bath, so after Reno 911: Miami I asked if the family wanted to watch Mists of Avalon of Practical Magic. Seth picked Mist’s of Avalon first and I spent a glorious 3 hours vegging-out, completely relaxed. At noon I cut and collected some flowers and herbs from the garden because today is not only my baptism day but it is also the Pecti Wittan (Scottish Witchcraft) Summer Solstice – known as Feill-Sheathain.
Quite appropriately Feill-Sheathain, or Midsummer, is a time of rebirth, cleansing and the celebration of the marriage of the Father Sky and Mother Earth. In ancient and modern times people celebrating this, and other midsummer rituals, would cleanse and bless them selves by jumping over bonfires. They would assure a good harvest by setting straw cartwheels a flame and rolling them down nearby hills. After watching the modern version of this last night, i.e. fireworks, I felt this was the perfect day to be baptized into the next incarnation of my life’s path, which is a true marriage of my Mother Goddess spirit with the institution, which currently houses my chosen path in regards to the Father.
After watching Mist’s of Avalon I drew myself a ritual bath. I added sea salt and lavender to the water. I lit candles and placed them all around, and I brewed myself a nice cup of Chamomile tea. I smugged the room with sage and settled down in the warm water and read two of the poems Eduanna, the ancient Sumerian poet and priestess wrote in praise of Inanna – the moon and earth Goddess. Inanna is one of the earliest recorded expressions of the Heavenly Mother. Her sister Lilith, once shown as the Tree of Life in ancient text (who reappears in the Book of Mormon by the way), made it into the Judaic version of the Genesis story as the first wife of Adam.
I prayed, I meditated; I washed and ended up feeling very cleansed -mind, body and spirit. I stepped out of the steamy bath, toweled off, anointed my chakras with Lavender oil and then smudged myself with sage.
I braided my hair back and placed flowers I had picked that day (Calendula and Lavender) into the braids. I then took a tube of white lip gloss (left over from Halloween if you must know) and drew a crescent moon on my forehead like the priestesses of Avalon. I then noticed it was time to go so I quickly dressed the kids and we all headed out the door.
When I first arrived at church the parking lot contained one car and I felt my stomach lurch. Had everyone forgot? Had no one come? I wondered. We got out of the car and walked to the main door and found it locked. I did a quick tally in my head – it was July 5th, 2008 at 6 PM – was I forgetting something? I found the side door locked as well but before I could figure out what to do Elder R came and opened it up. He led me to the Relief Society room were about 10 people were already gathered.
Sister G was trying to play out “O My Father” on the piano which was one of my requested hymns but which was one not regularly played. The sound of it made my heart leap and reminded me that I was in the right place.
Elder R showed me to a closet and said he would help me pick a jump suit. He reached for a small. I chuckled, flattered, but suggested we see how my hips fit in a medium. To my surprise it fit very well.
The jumper may have fit well but the polyester was hot, scratchy and just plain uncomfortable. When I returned to sit with Seth and the kids Ronan immediately demanded to nurse. I had to unzip half the front of my jumper and pull out a huge, not at all covered, boob to nurse him. I wish they made nursing baptismal jumpers. There’s and idea Beehive clothing!
We started out by singing “O My Father” and I absolutely savored the word “Mother” in that song as it rolled off all our tongues. I felt lifted up and was reminded again that I was in exactly the right place I had been led to be.
By now the jumper was starting to get a little annoying. There I was in the front of the service while a member of the bishopric, Elder H, and Sister G stood up and gave talks, directed at me, while I felt half naked with a unzipped jumper and a very demanding baby kept insisting on switching boobies.
Bless their hearts they didn’t act at all uncomfortable but I was itchy and hot and more to the point I wanted to listen to the speakers so I finally told Ronan no more “Nah Nahs” and he pitched a gigantic fit. I handed him to Seth who walked him in the hallway for a bit.
Soon it was time for me to get in the water. I walked through the door and down into the pool of water, greeted on the other side by Elder R. I have to pause and tell you for a moment that Elder R is the sweetest guy. He’s a shy, cute, young, Latino guy from Florida. Lately he has spent so much time with me, and my kids, that he feels like a brother to me. I will miss him a lot when he goes home in two weeks.
I walked up to him, a bit nervous because like I said, he’s a cutie and the baptism seems so intimate yet it’s in front of all these people. He asked if I remembered how to hold him and I nodded and grabbed his arm and placed my wrist in his palm. He recited the words and I found I couldn’t really focus – it all seemed to be happening so fast. Nykki was up close to the glass looking at me, and Seth was walking around Ronan in the back of the room.
It seemed like as soon as I took tally of my family it was time to plunge. I held my nose and went back. It turns out I came very close to the wall when I went back so Elder R had to wiggle me away at the last moment and then press down harder to get me to go completely under. When I came up I automatically kinda shook my head like a dog and then stopped as soon as I realized it.
I wasn’t sure what to do after that so I thanked Elder R because I felt very grateful to him and then walked back up the steps. I dried off and got dressed. I squeezed a few drops of water from my hair into my amulet pouch.
Let me pause and tell you a moment about my amulet pouch. I hand sewed the whole thing by hand and it’s based on the basic design of Joseph Smith’s amulet parchment pouch that I found in Early Mormonism and the Magic World View by D. Michael Quinn. I filled it with the herbs collected that day, a stone symbolizing rebirth, and some chamomile. Now it has a few drops of my baptismal water to add to the magic.
I retuned to the room to find Seth (and everyone for that matter) being subjected to the really cheesy church film about Jesus – the one where Jesus looks like some guy they picked up off the BYU football field and they blended a red wig on him and had him grow a patchy beard. Oh, that movie, I have to bite my lip so hard. I love Jesus, and I am moved by the miracles but come on, a red wigged, super Anglo, Jesus with a goofy grin? It just doesn’t do it for me – I don’t know about everyone else.
It was just about over when I entered so there was just the last little bit to finish up, we sang “I Stand All Amazed” which nearly made me cry – the tune is so lovely on that one and the images of Christ it evokes are both metaphormic and elating.
After the service was concluded there were refreshments of fruit, Amish friendship bread, angel food cup cakes and water. It was very pleasant and Seth seemed at ease as we all munched and talked a bit.
The missionaries were a hoot and by the end, as everyone was leaving and they were putting the chairs away the guys were teasing each other about their astrological signs. “I didn’t know a Pisces could be so aggressive!” Quipped Elder H, “You must be cusping Leo!” he joked with an Elder. It was a pleasant surprise to find out that Elder R was also an Aries, born 3 days after me.
After all was said and done we went home and I treated myself to Steven Colbert’s Americone Dream by Ben and Jerry’s and Seth, the boys and I watched Practical Magic. It all seemed simple, plain, and yet magical upon reflection.
