Please bare with me...I am jumping out of my skin happy. You see I received an award at the Cedarburg Plein Air Competition. It was my first ever juried award. It was an Honorable mention for my "quick paint" where we had 2 1/2 hours to paint and bring it back framed. 56 paintings were done in this way. What made me so happy about it was who I was competing with and what they are capable of. I felt SO honored! I have always tried to put the focus on learning something with each new painting and not on winning. That outlook does 2 things...it takes all the pressure off and it really helps me to be free to try new things in my work. But my friend Ken Auster always says "You are good when your peers say you are good" and so this little feather will stay in my hat for just a little while. Then I will lay it at the feet of the Creator, God where it belongs.
This afternoon I have a routine office visit with Dr. Lerner, my oncologist. He’s received a report from Dr. Sher, the endocrinologist I met with a week or so ago (I didn’t blog about that visit at the time).
Those who’ve been following this blog for a few months may recall that, back on Valentine’s Day, I had a PET/CT scan that revealed a possible nodule on my thyroid gland. A subsequent ultrasound confirmed that, yes, there was something abnormal growing out of the left side of my thyroid.
Dr. Lerner told me he didn’t think it was anything significant – most of these growths are benign, he explained, and this one was pretty small, at that – but he thought it was worth seeing an endocrinologist to get it checked out.
Through a series of scheduling misadventures, it was only a couple of weeks ago that I finally got in to see the endocrinologist. Dr. Lerner had given me the name of a Dr. Asnani, saying he wanted me to see that particular specialist, and none other – although he emphasized it wasn’t urgent, and I could meet with him any time in the next several months. Well, Dr. Asnani’s office staff told me he was in India on an extended visit, and they weren’t even making appointments for him until after his return. I called back over a month later, as they had instructed, and it turned out they had no free appointment for about another month and a half. The long and the short of it was that I finally got into his waiting room on June 16th – just over four months after the nodule first appeared on the CT scan!
Come to find out, Dr. Asnani wasn’t available that day, as he was making hospital rounds. I’d be seen by a resident, Dr. Lee, instead, and then by Dr. Asnani’s partner, Dr. Sher. Dr. Lee was actually the most helpful. She spent a lot of time with me, explained everything, and was very responsive to all my questions. She carefully probed my thyroid with her fingers, taking great pains to see if she could feel the nodule. Then, I saw Dr. Sher for all of about 2 minutes – no examination, just a reiteration of what Dr. Lee had already told me.
When I explain all this to Dr. Lerner today he says, that’s fine, Dr. Sher’s name would have been one he would have recommended – even over Dr. Asnani – but the last several times he’d tried to refer patients to Dr. Sher, they were turned away with the explanation that he wasn’t accepting any new patients! (The ways of medical scheduling are exceeding strange.)
So, what did Drs. Lee and Sher tell me about my thyroid nodule? That it’s very small (0.8 centimeters), too small to biopsy. They recommended I have another thyroid ultrasound in 6 months, and if it’s bigger than a centimeter, it may be wise to have it biopsied. Even so, they reassured me, I shouldn’t worry about it – only a small percentage of such nodules are malignant, so it’s just a precaution.
Well, I went away from the endocrinology office thinking it’s probably a good thing I’m going through this thyroid stuff after having been through a lymphoma diagnosis, chemo and all the rest – I might have been a nervous wreck, otherwise. My anxiety threshold when it comes to things medical has certainly gotten higher!
Dr. Lerner hands me a script for my next PET/CT scan in early September: time to start the whole cycle again.
News has just come through, today, of the death of actor and model Farrah Fawcett. I wrote about her cancer struggle in my May 16th blog entry. Her television documentary, Farrah’s Story, was a graphic account of the last months of her life.
While the film attracted some negative comments from critics, who branded it as reality-show exploitation, I saw it differently. It seemed to me a courageous (although rough-around-the-edges) statement from a dying woman whose deepest desire was to “not go gentle into that good night.”
Sure, Farrah’s story was hardly typical. She was an enormously wealthy woman with the means to jet all over the world seeking alternative cancer treatments. She was also more vocal than some about the problem of how cancer was affecting her physical beauty (hardly surprising in a woman who, in her prime, was a fashion icon). Yet, whose cancer story is ever typical, anyway? We’re all individuals, and in our respective responses to this disease we each display our own interior beauty.
This morning I walked across the street to St. Mary’s By-the-Sea Episcopal Church to attend the funeral of a neighbor, Jane, who died at mid-life after having been diagnosed about a year ago with a pretty-much untreatable form of cancer. She left behind two teenage daughters and a whole churchful of friends.
Jane designed the funeral service herself, down to every last detail. While it wove in and out of the Book of Common Prayer liturgy, the musical selections and personal testimonies were hardly typical funeral fare. We sang along with the choir to Pete Seeger’s “Turn, Turn, Turn” and listened to a talented guitarist sing the jaunty medley of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” (as styled by the by the late Hawaiian singer Israel Kamakawiwo’ole) and “What a Wonderful World” that’s been making the rounds of indie singers.
We finished by singing the Beatles’ “Let It Be” – a baby boomer anthem if ever there was one. I’ve always heard the song’s mention of “mother Mary” was inspired by a dream Paul McCartney had of his own mother, whose name was Mary. After checking it out on Wikipedia, I learned his mother died when he was 14, of cancer. As she came to Paul in the dream, he was blessed with an overwhelming feeling of comfort and peace. According to Wikipedia, he later told an interviewer: “It was great to visit with her again. I felt very blessed to have that dream. So that got me writing ‘Let It Be’.” Speaking to another interviewer, he shared how in the dream his mother had comforted him: “It will be all right, just let it be.”
Some have assumed, I know, that “mother Mary” in the song must surely be Mary, the mother of Jesus, but of course that’s not the case. So, it doesn’t make sense, as some have done, to sing it in church as a celebration of that Mary. It turns out, though, in this context, “Let It Be” has a compelling personal (if not exactly liturgical) rightness.
From what I know of Jane – a deep-thinking, highly organized person – it’s likely she knew this story, and included it in the service for that reason. It’s the message she would have wanted her own daughters to take away from the experience of losing their mother:
“And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me, shine until tomorrow, let it be. I wake up to the sound of music, mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.”
Optio W80 on location in Costa Rica. Photo by Pentaxian Carolyn Pitcavage
We announced our newest "adventure proof" W-series camera today. All product info can be found here: PENTAX Optio W80 Press Release
The Optio W80 is available in Cardinal Red, Azure Blue and Gunmetal Gray, and will ship in the U.S. in July for $299.95 USD. Since I am not sure if websites reporting on this new camera will show all the new colors, here they are...
I was just informed by my associates in Japan that the manual I uploaded to Scribd was not the final version. I have therefore removed the current pdf from Scribd, and hope to have a new and final version of the K-7 manual uploaded by early next week.
My apologies for any confusion in releasing this pdf. It is positive to see the interest in this camera, as the manual was viewed over 6,000 times in less than two days!
Cheers, Ned
We typically upload "user manuals" to our website at the time a new model ships. However, I've seen quite a few requests for an advanced copy of the K-7 manual. Therefore, and with thanks to the power and ease of use of Scribd, I've uploaded a pdf for your review.
Happy Father's day to all the great dads out there, you know who you are. Especially happy fathers day to my beloved! You are the most wonderful father I could have ever hoped for, thank you for sharing your life with us.
My sister Gina had a summer solstice babe yesterday! A little boy! I'm so thrilled for my sweet sister! I can't wait to meet my nephew.
I'm on a high protein diet and life is finally getting back to normal after months of on going, non stop puking. I feel so much better. Thank Goddess for my friend Lisa who told me about the diet. Bless her! She has saved me!
I have so many fun pictures to post and I hope to get them up soon. Nykki celebrated his 6th birthday with a Buffy the Vampire Slayer themed party. We all dressed up and had a blast!
Happy Father's day to all the great dads out there, you know who you are. Especially happy fathers day to my beloved! You are the most wonderful father I could have ever hoped for, thank you for sharing your life with us.
My sister Gina had a summer solstice babe yesterday! A little boy! I'm so thrilled for my sweet sister! I can't wait to meet my nephew.
I'm on a high protein diet and life is finally getting back to normal after months of on going, non stop puking. I feel so much better. Thank Goddess for my friend Lisa who told me about the diet. Bless her! She has saved me!
I have so many fun pictures to post and I hope to get them up soon. Nykki celebrated his 6th birthday with a Buffy the Vampire Slayer themed party. We all dressed up and had a blast!
We're celebrating the birth of our newest granddaughter who arrived late Thursday night, and watching a few of the grand kids this weekend. Therefore, any extensive testing of the K-7 naturally has been put on the back burner. However, I did have a chance to try out the new 18-55 WR lens, and will be posting a few samples over the weekend.
First, the pebble like texture of the zoom ring feels very nice, the zoom action is nicely dampened, and there's a minimum of noise and no sloppy feel when you hit either end of the zoom range. Although I don't have any previous 18-55's to compare to, I'm finding the focusing with this lens on the K-7 to be quite fast and snappy.
I realize most 18-55 lens designations are thought to be poor quality, "kit" lenses. However, I think anyone considering the WR as their primary lens will be pleasantly surprised by its performance...plus it has the added bonus of basic weather sealing.
Posted images were all shot in JPEG in the "bright" mode with no other camera adjustments. Images were sized in PhotoShop to no more than 1600 x 2400, as I still do not have a final production sample of the K-7 to shoot with. Click on any thumbnail to see a larger image.
Not much beats it for me! Today I went to Old World Wisconsin which is a great place that has a collection of barns . These barns and homesteads have been moved there from all around the state and lovingly rebuilt one board at a time in ethnic villages. (German,Norwegian Etc.) It is quite large and there are trams to take you around. Even so there is a great deal of walking and I was kicking myself for not packing lighter again! So you could say I had a frustrating start. The people I was to paint with I could not find in the sea of people! (Finally found them when I was all done and almost at my car.) I am not a physically strong person so just getting to the tram was a challenge. Then when I got to the place to paint I found that at some point on the (crazy) tram ride I had lost the gadget my husband made me to attach my umbrella to my easel. That meant I had to find a different subject to paint ( and move my already set up stuff) where I could be in the shade somehow as I would burn to a crisp being from Wisconsin and all! However...once I started painting all was well. Nothing bothered me...not even the hundreds of people asking questions...or the little kids who stuck fingers in my paints...What is that feeling...total attention...totally relaxed? I love it!
So here is today's offering entitled" A Spot in the Shade" 8x10 oil on canvas.
"The D-BG4 Battery Grip extends shooting times by providing additional power via a second lithium-ion battery or AA batteries. The battery grip includes a tray for either battery option. It also features a vertical release button, depth-of-field preview switch, front and rear e-dials, and buttons for exposure lock and autofocus, as well as a green button and ISO button. The D-BG4 is weather-sealed to protect the battery. Please note that extra batteries are sold separately."
(Above photos taken with K20D and FA 50mm f/1.4 lens. Shot RAW and converted to JPEG for uploading to Blogger. Click on any thumbnail for a larger view.)
Dr. Schuster’s study involves a personalized cancer vaccine, fabricated out of the patient’s own malignant cells. Other cancer vaccines are created to go after some factor that influences the survival of cancer cells. This one is different, Dr. Schuster says, because it goes after the cancer itself. The vaccine – or, rather, the process of producing it, since every patient’s version is different – is called BiovaxID.
I suppose it’s kind of like giving a bloodhound an article of clothing belonging to the fugitive being tracked. Having memorized the criminal’s distinctive scent, the hound is able to sniff out the quarry. The cancer vaccine, equipped with chemical markers from the patient’s malignant cells, does much the same thing.
The vaccines, which take 3 months to produce, are given in 5 injections spaced over 6 months.
The vaccine was given to follicular lymphoma patients who had received the standard CHOP chemotherapy treatment (the same one I had, minus the Rituxan), and who had gone into a remission lasting longer than 6 months (mine lasted 8 months). Those patients in the trial who received BiovaxID did significantly better than those in the control group: 44.2 months without a relapse, on the average, for those in the vaccine group, as compared with 30.6 months for those in the control group.
Dr. Schuster is calling for a new clinical trial, to see how the results will come out for those treated with R-CHOP (CHOP + Rituxan), as I was.
I wonder how long it will be before the vaccine is available, outside of clinical trials. I wonder, also, to which patients it would be given: whether only to people like those in the clinical trial, who are still in remission after treatment, or to people like me as well, who are out of remission. (Then again, maybe it could help me after my watching and waiting time is over, and some other treatment puts me back into remission.)
Complicated questions, to be sure. Regardless, news like this is always a source of hope.
You can see the best high school speakers and debaters live on your computer.
On Friday 19 June 2009 there will be a live webcast of a number of events from the National Forensic League's national speech and debate championship tournament from the Birmingham-Jefferson Convention Complex Concert Hall in Birmingham, Alabama.
The NFL Nationals is the largest speech and debate tournament in the world, with well over 5000 people attending. Competition will last all week leading up to Friday.
It’s nearing the end of a remarkable day, for me. After breakfast and a time of worship, our retreat leaders sent us off to find a place to spend two and a half hours in quiet discernment, seeking hints to the leading of the Holy Spirit in our lives. Four days’ work have led up to this point. I have been much occupied in reflecting on various things that have led me to feel spiritually and vocationally stuck. Many of them derive, directly or indirectly, from the way lymphoma has interrupted my life.
Reflecting back, now, on that time of discernment...
I make my way along the path to a large, lakeside picnic pavilion on the conference center grounds. The place, which is evidently where they hold cookouts as well as some wedding receptions, is deserted. Walking across the wooden deck to the railing by the water’s edge, I notice something at my feet. It’s a bird’s nest, with a yellow-and white smear on the planks beside it. Evidently, some prowling carnivore swept the nest down from a rafter overhead, then devoured the frail eggs that had been nestled in it.
Saddened by nature’s carnage, I pull a folding chair to the edge of the dance floor and sit there, looking across the lake.
Skirted by rolling mist, the dark water reflects the tall trees on the opposite shore. Occasionally, a fish breaks the opaque surface. The calling of circling birds reminds me this place is teeming with life.
Taking out my journal, I begin to write a poem that records the way this scene speaks to me, in a way I can only conclude is the leading of the Spirit:
CONSIDER THE BIRDS
“Look at the birds of the air...” – Matthew 6:26
Bird’s nest cast on the wooden planks of a picnic pavilion: empty, bereft. Beside it, a spattered mess of yolk and white: life’s potential spilled out by some anonymous predator. Life is hard, far harder than we know through pampered days; cruel, too, and unspeakably random. So many fruits of careful, loving preparation cast aside with one sweep of the predator’s paw, one feathered flurry of raptor-wings. And what of the wattle-and-daub sanctuary of my life, my career (if I may use that un-theological word)? There is sadness: immense sadness, mourning, for all the cancer has swept away. Sometimes I fear my vaunted call to ministry has become but a smear of yolk and white upon the deck.
Whose call is it, anyway, I hasten to remind myself?
Out on the lake, a man is rowing backwards, facing towards the prow. He wants to see where he is going. Does he not trust the dread discipline of rowing towards a destination he cannot see, eyes fixed on the reference point?
Get up. Get up and walk a spiral labyrinth upon the dance floor: a squared-off spiral, defined by angular symmetry of faux-wood tiles. Constriction on the way in, tightness. Options, one by one, falling away. At the center, a swift turn upon the heel: scarcely room to breathe. But then, but then, the turning. “To turn, turn will be our delight, till by turning, turning we come out right.”
What of the ravaged nest? What of it? Shall my eye continually be drawn to such a horror? What of the bird-mother, whose eye must have, one time at least, been drawn to that appalling sight? There is birdsong in this place, to be sure, but no black-winged mourner, perched disconsolately upon a rafter.
Then comes the Sweeper, broom in hand. His eye falls upon the downed nest before he stoops down, pausing scarcely a moment, and picks it up in two fingers before walking solemnly to the rail and tossing it gently into the lake: burial at sea. A squeeze-bottle of pink disinfectant completes the ritual, soaking the boards: chemical absolution. A few passes of this Undertaker’s broom, and all that remains is a wet spot upon the planking. Nature, like the mother bird, has a way of moving on, it would seem. (Later, Archangel Janitor paces slowly away, squeeze-bottle in one hand, rag in the other.)
Tears wet my eyes as I recall how many days I have wasted: days the Lord has made, intended for rejoicing. How many pounds of walking burden have I allowed to gather at my waist? How many meaningless rectangles of paper – 8½ by 11, and other shapes and sizes – have I allowed to join the dusty disarray on my abandoned desktop? Have I become a bystander to my own, neglected life, in ways the mother bird never allowed herself to be?
I sit, davening, upon my folding chair.
“What are you doing here, Elijah?” “I have been very zealous for the Lord, the God of hosts.” I have fought the helmeted cancer-hordes to a draw. (So far, they have not returned, but for the occasional, ominous scout.) “I, I alone am left” has been my cry.
The Lord, of course, would not, does not let a true prophet get away with such an easy answer.
I realize it’s been quite a while since my last post. Life has been more than busy – bordering on overwhelming, at times. Each year, I always underestimate how hectic the month of June is, in parish ministry. June is the month when most church programs make ready to go into hibernation for the summer (yes, even here in a beachfront resort community). There are lots of end-of-the-year special events to occupy a pastor’s time.
Not only that, I’ve been away from home since Monday, at a continuing-education event called CREDO (an acronym for Clergy Reflection Education Discernment Opportunity, which also happens to spell out the Latin word for “I believe” – or, as some have more poetically pondered, “I give my heart to”). The invitation-only program is put on (and heavily subsidized, financially) by the Board of Pensions of the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), although they borrowed its design from the Episcopalians, who pioneered this concept of ministry support. We’re meeting at Beaver Hollow, a well-appointed executive conference center in a rustic, woodsy setting near Buffalo, New York.
It’s an unusually long continuing education conference: eight days. It’s kind of a mid-career tune-up for ministers who have been at this work for a long time and who’ve perhaps have not had an opportunity for a while to get away from the daily grind and reflect on the experiences that led us into this line of work in the first place.
It’s a wonderful group of people: gifted men and women from all over the country who are, for the most part, quite good at what they do. The ages range from 40-55. Few of us have ever met before, but the bonding was instantaneous and we’ve been having a great time.
It’s a wholistic sort of approach, focusing on finances, health, spirituality and vocation. Mostly we’ve been listening to presentations so far, with some small group work. Later in the event, there will be some time set aside for writing our personal “CREDO Plan,” a sort of personal to-do list for strengthening our spiritual life and ministry.
I’d like to share something from a CREDO handout on the subject of health. It has a lot to say to cancer survivors, and to everyone else as well:
A VIEW OF HEALTH
1. Health means a sufficient absence of injury or disease processes so that my basic functioning operates without impairment (This is the traditional view of health).
2. Health means having an awareness of and reliance upon the life force within each one of us, which makes for growth and in the event of illness, for recuperation (we call it a positive attitude).
3. Health means having a sense that each of us belongs to others, and a desire to contribute to the common good (we call it an other-centered attitude).
4. Health means having an understanding that each of us is more than a product of history; that as individuals, we cannot only cope with the flow of events, but we also participate in shaping them (we are co-creators).
5. Health means interacting with others in such a way that our self-constancy, stability and individuality are not dissolved; even under threat (our egos are intact).
6. Health means having a sense of integrity. That is, we function as a unit and are not self-destructing (we have direction, focus, purpose).
7. Health means having a sense of the value of life and of living as a steward, not an owner (we are optimistic and free because nothing belongs to us individually. We have nothing to lose. We can live sacrificially).
8. Health means having a view of life that acknowledges dependency as a part of reality and rejoices in it; which recognizes gifts, including the gift of God’s love, mercy and ever-present Spirit and gratefully accepts them; which accepts creaturehood, as befits children of God.
9. Health means having an appreciation of living from the aspect of eternity that allows us to find security in the hope and expectation of life everlasting, not everlasting life (We can hang loose through all adversities of life because our perspective is eternal).
10. Health means embracing mystery and ambiguity as welcome friends.
Source: Adapted from Richard P. Ellerbrake’s remarks, Helen J. Westberg Lecture, Sixteenth Annual Westberg Symposium, September 11, 2002.
What I like about this statement is the way it integrates the medical and the spiritual. We need more of that sort of thing.
As I said in the previous American Photo post, I cannot upload this copyrighted material since I don't own the rights or have permission from the owner. However, I can share this much with you.
The July issue of Popular Photography features a hands-on review of the K-7 by Philip Ryan. The review, entitled "Prize Patrol/That Winning Feeling" starts with the following observation...“Things had been quiet on the upper end of the PENTAX DSLR front...Well the silence has been broken. No, make that shattered.”
A few comments Phil made include: - In-camera HDR is opening a door for newbie's to “explore this growing trend.” - Composition Adjust “is perfect for tough-to-arrange macro shots.”
Phil acknowledged they were eager to get a production unit to run it through their tests in the Pop Photo Lab. This issue has already been mailed to subscribers, and should be on the newsstand any day.
(Note June 11: Pop Photo must be running split covers for the July issue, as we just received more copies with a cover that features a large hero shot of the K-7)
Please understand that I cannot upload this copyrighted material since I don't own the rights or have permission from the owner. However, I can share this much with you.
We just received a pre-newsstand copy of the July/August issue of American Photo. This is the issue that contains their “Editor’s Choice Awards for 2009”. We were excited (or really "stoked" to use a surfer's term) to see they awarded the Pentax K-7 (and the Nikon D90) their camera of the year for the “Advanced D-SLR” category. They stated their reason for this joint award as follows:
“We couldn’t decide whether the Nikon D90 or Pentax K-7 should win the Advanced D-SLR of the year, so we chose them both. Yet each has different strengths: The Nikon is a low light champ, the Pentax an affordable pro-spec workhorse.”
We were also pleased to read that American Photo gave the new DA*55mm lens an Editor's Choice, and the P70 its “Best Buy” rating for Compact cameras.
If you're interested in reading the reviews, I believe this issue will hit the newsstands by the third week of this month, if not a few days earlier in certain markets.
Apple announced the new iPhone 3G S at their WWDC conference yesterday. I spent a little time last night reading the reactions to the new phone on the various tech websites and forums. As expected, many posters complained that there was little improvement in the new 3G S and they weren't going to upgrade from their current 3G.
I have to admit that I chuckled at the similarity to all the discussions on various photo forums about whether one should upgrade from the K10D, K20D etc, to the K-7. Since we're comparing totally different product categories, this is one time I can unabashedly state that compared to the 3G S, we've put a ton of significant new features and capabilities in the K-7, and therefore the thought process of whether to upgrade or not should be a brain-dead decision.
As I realize we all have limited funds to purchase new gear, my somewhat biased advice is to pass on upgrading your iPhone, and buy that K-7! Unfortunately, I've promised my wife I will hold out for more than 60 days before I buy the 3G S, so I still have a ways to go in my quest to ignore upgrade angst.
(Note: The comments above are intended to be tongue-in-cheek and do not reflect the opinions of anyone at Apple or HOYA...but yours truly.)
The K-7 has six Custom Image presets including Bright, Natural, Portrait, Landscape, Vibrant, and Muted. These presets offer an additional -4 to +4 steps of additional tuning for saturation, hue, brightness, contrast, and sharpness. There is also a Monochrome mode with the same range of adjustment over brightness, contrast and sharpness.
Since it's hard to visualize how these presets will affect your image, I had a chance over the weekend to take a few photos of my 88 year old mother to show the likely results you can expect in using these different presets. Since I'm shooting with a pre-production camera, I'm restricted from posting images larger than 600x800. All images shot in JPEG with no processing, editing or cropping before uploading files to Blogger.
Photos below displayed from top to bottom: BRIGHT, NATURAL, PORTRAIT, VIBRANT, MUTED and MONOCHROME. As it wasn't appropriate, I did not take a photo in LANDSCAPE mode. Lens used: FA 50mm f/1.4 with aperture set to f/5.6 for these photos.
