Monday, December 29, 2008

December 30, 2008 - Christmas Haste

Christmas has come and gone, without a blog entry. That’s mainly a function of my being so busy.

It was a good Christmas. Ania was back from Chapman University for the holidays, and Ben continues to be living here at the house, as he works full-time giving guitar lessons. My mother, Shirley, is now living back in New Jersey, having moved up here from North Carolina in September. Brother Jim came down from Boston for the holiday. From Claire’s family, we welcomed her sister Eva and her daughter Elizabeth (who also live in our house), as well as her brother Victor from Baltimore, with his kids, Chelsea and Nick; and Claire’s sister Ramona, from New York City. There were a few friends here, besides.

It made for a full table at Wigilia, the traditional Polish Christmas Eve vigil supper from Claire’s family tradition, which we somehow squeeze in between the 7:00 and 11:00 pm Christmas Eve services. (Here’s a picture of Claire spreading some straw on the dining-room table, assisted by Murphy the cat – the straw goes under the tablecloth, and is symbolic of the straw of the manger.)

A few days before the holiday, we had about 30 members of the Youth Connection group here for pizza and snacks, after their annual Christmas caroling expedition to homebound and nursing-home folks.

As for the Christmas Eve services, we had the usual children’s service at 4:00, followed by Candlelight Services of Lessons and Carols at 7:00 and 11:00. My sermon, “A Hasty Christmas,” focused on that line from Luke’s Gospel that describes how the shepherds “went with haste” to Bethlehem.

It’s a perfectly ordinary phrase, but to me it seems to offer a basis for reflecting on how many of us tend to approach the holiday. There are two kinds of haste: the stressful kind that pushes you, and the wondrous kind that pulls you. While the shepherds may have had good reason to fear the angels (who, in good biblical tradition, were anything but gentle emissaries of sweetness and light), I like to think they rushed down off that hillside because of the wonder of Word-made-flesh that was apparent in that humble stable.

From the sermon:

“There is another kind of haste, besides the sort that pushes us. There’s also the haste that pulls us. It’s the same sort of haste grandparents feel, as they’re waiting in an airport lounge to go visit their new grandchild for the first time. It’s the sort of haste a young man feels, when he’s off to pick up that special young lady to take to the prom. It’s the sort of haste that says, ‘Come on, let’s go – every minute we delay is a minute we won’t be there!’

It’s the sort of haste we’ve all come to know, when Christmas is at its very best. It’s not the tyranny of the to-do list, but the joy of a churchful of people singing carols; the glow of the candlelight, passed from hand to hand during ‘Silent Night’; the swell of the organ, as we roll into that first stanza of ‘O Come, All Ye Faithful.’ It’s the sort of haste that beckons us onward, that wins cold hearts over, that pulls us out of the December doldrums and sets us gently down into a holy place, a place of light and love and faith.”


One of my growing edges, in these days of watch-and-wait monitoring of my lymphoma, has to do with maintaining the right kind of haste in my life. Better to be pulled than pushed. Better to be motivated by wonder than by worry.

It's a tough balance to maintain – but I’m working on it.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

(12.28.08) Recommends:

Airport Confessions.

(Or, People Who Grabbed Our Attention This Year, Written While Flying To Denver).



The other day while on the way to the airport, we blogged about the events of 2K8 that grabbed our attention. Today we thought we'd pass the time on the first leg of our flight back blogging about the people (in the news) who came to dominate our attention this year. We're doing this on the fly, literally -- rim shot! -- so we'll miss some people. And naturally there will be some overlap from our list from earlier in the week. But here goes (and in no particular order).



1. The People Behind the Planet Money Podcast. Planet Money is a blog/podcast put out by NPR (http://www.npr.org/blogs/money). It is only a few months old, but consistantly put out what we thought was the best reporting of the financial meltdown in both its weekday podcast and in particular it's two, hour-long episodes produced in conjunction with This American Life. One of the things we find annoying about a lot of traditional journalism is the amount of assumed knowledge contained in a typical story. What we love about Planet Money is that takes on big economic issues and unpacks them in a manner that is digestable for a non-economist listener, but without dumbing down the content. The show doesn't assume you know what a CDO is. In fact, the reporters admit they're not really sure what certain things are (in fact, they often get the experts to admit that they aren't always sure what's going on -- simple enough definition of a bubble or a dubious scheme, we'd say). So they go hunt down the story and present it link by link. Clearly and systematically explaining each link and linkage. For our money, Adam Davidson is the star of the show.



2. Paul Krugman. We were first exposed to Krugman -- and hence to his enormous impact on the field -- as econ undergrads back in the late 90s-early 00s, before he started his stint as a NYTimes columnist. We mention this time frame because today some people view him as purely a political or partisan voice. While we've agreed with almost all of his critiques of the Bush Administration, particularly over the past three plus years (during which he increasingly took off the gloves, and was often alone in the wilderness as one of the lone, legitimate, mainstream voices doing so), we were never really convinced it took a first-rate, world-class -- indeed, 2008 Nobel Prize winner -- Economist to point out the failings of the Bush Administration. But as the financial crisis began unfolding in front of us this year, suddenly all the pieces that Krugman has been presenting over the years fell into place. During his time at the Times you arguably could have been forgiven for thinking he was just another member of the liberal elite ego machine, but in 2008 you simply couldn't say you were serious about understanding what was going on in the world financial markets without reading Krugman's column (and perhaps re-reading some of those 2004-06 wilderness era columns) and blog, and listening to him lecture.



3. Barack Obama. It's a funny paradox. The pace of Obama's meteoric rise has been perhaps unprecedented. But the length of the campaign was also perhaps unprecedented. Which made it easy to occassionally lose site of how inspiring we found Obama. After he gave The Speech in 2004 we -- along with most of our family and friends -- instictively knew he would win the 2008 election -- he hit a nerve that was so raw, so exposed, so waiting, yearning to be hit. 2008 was the year that instinct became reality. It'll be a year that history books will both, to paraphrase Lincoln, significantly note and long remember. And it's because of Obama.



4. David Plouffe. We both detested yet were inspired by Plouffe's incessant emails. Detested because the role of money in politics gives us the heebie-jeebies. But inspired because every time he asked he received so much goddam money. There is a fine line between money corrupting and people who normally don't care pitching in because they finally give a damn. Plouffe made us feel it was the latter that was happening. Plus, those "homemade strategy videos" he would sent out were pretty sweet, right?



5. Nate Silver. If you seriously followed this election, between September and November 04 you spent more hours at work checking FiveThirtyEight.com than working. The week after the election, you checked it like a man who loses his leg in war reports being able to feel his amputated leg. We're only now getting over it. We all know these three things to be true.



6. Shepard Fairey. 2008 was the year he went from being known as the guy who created an image that was widely influential in certain cultural circles, to creating the defining imagine of an historic election. There's no need to attempt to overstate Fairey's role in getting Obama elected, but there's no question that his iconic-imaging of Obama will go hand-in-hand with history's recounting of the election.



7. The Pirates. First we thought the stories were just kind of funny and odd and seemed out of place. Then we thought the Pirates were making a brave, populist stance against foreign overfishing. Then we feared that the world economy was certainly going to collapse and we were headed to a life based on the movie Water World. We still have a few more days in '08 to come up with a new story line. But the fact is we were glued to pirate stories this year.

Plane is landing. Perhaps more later.

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Week in Review December 26th, 2008

Gina Went Home 12.24.08

DSC08578



After visiting for nearly two months my sister Gina is on her way home to Boulder, CO. It was so fun to spend the election, Thanksgiving and then Winter Solstice with her. She was a tremendous help when we moved to our new house.

The boys have a picture of Aunt Gina in their room and they've taken to talking to it. They inform picture-Gina of all the latest happenings in their lives, especially when it snows.

We all miss her big smile and warm heart, fair well Gina, we'll see you soon.




The Skunk Train 12.22.08

train




We were very lucky to have a beautiful holiday season and few of our experiences as a family can compare to the skunk train ride we took with our local homeschool group.

The train tickets are usually $30 per person - far out of our family's reach. However we got a group discount with our Homespun Homeschool Network group and we paid half price!

Even more special was the fact that Aunt Gina was an elf on the train! A bunch of hippie, homeschool families filled a whole train car! We ate sugar cookies baked by the senior center, sipped hot chocolate, munched on popcorn and visited the North Pole to see Santa Claus (of course he had already stopped by our home for Winter Solstice but the boys were happy to see him and have a chance to thank him for the gifts he had brought them)

skunk_train_singer_200607_001




Gina had told us how awesome the train singer was but I was unprepared for his greatness. He interacted with the kids and sung classic holiday songs. A happier man I don't think I have ever met and he simply enchanted the children - as well as the adults. I know Nykki will remember him when he thinks back to warm, happy holiday moments in his childhood.

What a blessing!






The Spiral dance 12.21.08

druid-robe-spiral-dance

We attended the Willits 14th annual Winter Solstice Spiral dance this year - as we always do. It was held at the Little Grange this year instead of the community center and I was really happy with the location change. The grange is a community building- one of the oldest in Willits. The grand ballroom where the spiral dance was held reminded me of the kind of ballroom you might see in a 1940's or even 20's film with swing dancers, or young people doing the charleston. You could really feel the multi generational history of the building and it complimented the community performances, carol singing and of course spiral dancing.

Another reason to be happily back in Willits where the pagan holiday community events cannot be beat! :)

littlelakegarage1924
Little Lake Grange






Offline 12.20.08

Seth and I have decided to have an internet free home for the time being. It seems to be more of a time consuming bother than a blessing to us. We are enjoying our local library and concentrating on the real world for a while.

I will still be updating here weekly with new posts and new pictures of our family life, ramblings and thoughts. I've also worked out a blog roll so when I'm online I can quickly check and read my fave blogs and comment too! So my presence will be down graded but I'll still be everywhere important! Hugs!

The Week in Review December 26th, 2008

Gina Went Home 12.24.08

DSC08578



After visiting for nearly two months my sister Gina is on her way home to Boulder, CO. It was so fun to spend the election, Thanksgiving and then Winter Solstice with her. She was a tremendous help when we moved to our new house.

The boys have a picture of Aunt Gina in their room and they've taken to talking to it. They inform picture-Gina of all the latest happenings in their lives, especially when it snows.

We all miss her big smile and warm heart, fair well Gina, we'll see you soon.




The Skunk Train 12.22.08

train




We were very lucky to have a beautiful holiday season and few of our experiences as a family can compare to the skunk train ride we took with our local homeschool group.

The train tickets are usually $30 per person - far out of our family's reach. However we got a group discount with our Homespun Homeschool Network group and we paid half price!

Even more special was the fact that Aunt Gina was an elf on the train! A bunch of hippie, homeschool families filled a whole train car! We ate sugar cookies baked by the senior center, sipped hot chocolate, munched on popcorn and visited the North Pole to see Santa Claus (of course he had already stopped by our home for Winter Solstice but the boys were happy to see him and have a chance to thank him for the gifts he had brought them)

skunk_train_singer_200607_001




Gina had told us how awesome the train singer was but I was unprepared for his greatness. He interacted with the kids and sung classic holiday songs. A happier man I don't think I have ever met and he simply enchanted the children - as well as the adults. I know Nykki will remember him when he thinks back to warm, happy holiday moments in his childhood.

What a blessing!






The Spiral dance 12.21.08

druid-robe-spiral-dance

We attended the Willits 14th annual Winter Solstice Spiral dance this year - as we always do. It was held at the Little Grange this year instead of the community center and I was really happy with the location change. The grange is a community building- one of the oldest in Willits. The grand ballroom where the spiral dance was held reminded me of the kind of ballroom you might see in a 1940's or even 20's film with swing dancers, or young people doing the charleston. You could really feel the multi generational history of the building and it complimented the community performances, carol singing and of course spiral dancing.

Another reason to be happily back in Willits where the pagan holiday community events cannot be beat! :)

littlelakegarage1924
Little Lake Grange






Offline 12.20.08

Seth and I have decided to have an internet free home for the time being. It seems to be more of a time consuming bother than a blessing to us. We are enjoying our local library and concentrating on the real world for a while.

I will still be updating here weekly with new posts and new pictures of our family life, ramblings and thoughts. I've also worked out a blog roll so when I'm online I can quickly check and read my fave blogs and comment too! So my presence will be down graded but I'll still be everywhere important! Hugs!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Well...

Ok so I was hoping to get to update more but with the holidays and all, I haven't gotten around to loading writing and pictures onto CDs and then braving the slush and snow to go to town to get them uploaded somewhere that has internet. The good news is we may be able to tinker with a satelite hook up with some of our holiday gift cash so I hope to be back up and running soon.

We had a wonderful holiday. We went to the local Willits Spiral dance for winter solstice and then Santa Clause visited us that night and the next morning we woke up to many presents (Santa thrift shops ya know ;)) Seth got me some wool yarn and bamboo knitting needles!! I've been knitting my butt off, I can't wait to post pictures.

Love to you all.

Oh yeah in the meantime between now and when I get the internet hooked up at home I'm looking for pen pals. Email me and let me know if you want to write, be sure to include your address and the next time I check my email I'll get your addy and write you a letter and then you write back (ya know how it works, ha ha!)

Here's my email

aylayoga at gmail dot com

Well...

Ok so I was hoping to get to update more but with the holidays and all, I haven't gotten around to loading writing and pictures onto CDs and then braving the slush and snow to go to town to get them uploaded somewhere that has internet. The good news is we may be able to tinker with a satelite hook up with some of our holiday gift cash so I hope to be back up and running soon.

We had a wonderful holiday. We went to the local Willits Spiral dance for winter solstice and then Santa Clause visited us that night and the next morning we woke up to many presents (Santa thrift shops ya know ;)) Seth got me some wool yarn and bamboo knitting needles!! I've been knitting my butt off, I can't wait to post pictures.

Love to you all.

Oh yeah in the meantime between now and when I get the internet hooked up at home I'm looking for pen pals. Email me and let me know if you want to write, be sure to include your address and the next time I check my email I'll get your addy and write you a letter and then you write back (ya know how it works, ha ha!)

Here's my email

aylayoga at gmail dot com

(12.24.08) Recommends:

Taxicab Confessions.



Stories That Grabbed Our Attention This Year, Written While in the Cab to LAX.



01. The election. This probably tops most people's list. From primaries to caucuses to FiveThirtyEight to that awful Sarah Palin person to the election of BH Obama, it was literally a year-long ride.



02. The near collapse of the world economy. Who thought we'd read with such interest stories about the TED spread and the commercial paper market. Every day tried to top the previous day in over-the-topness of bad news.



03. Pirates. A mixture of childlike fasination, admiration of the perhaps dubious populist stance of the pirates, and a fear that due to point 2, pirate economies would become more prevalant, we couldn't read enought about this.



04. Nebraska Anti-Abandonment Law. So NE passed a law meant to encourage parents who couldn't carry the burden of a baby, to turn newborns in rather than abandon them. Problem is, no age restriction was written into the law and something like 50 children, many as old as 17, were immediately given up. Law was amended in an emergency session.



05. Suicide of David Foster Wallace. If anybody could have put stories 1-4 into context of modern culture, it would have been Dave Wallace. When he checked out early, we feared mass confusion had finally carried the day. We all carry on, but with heavy hearts.



06. Myspace verdict. It's always hard to talk about the import of case law until years later when it's impact can be fully analyzed. But this case makes it a federal crime to violate a private company's terms of use. The back story makes this result easy to handle for casual observers, but it's theoretically taking us into murky waters.



Well, that's all the time we have. We're being lectured on taxicab credit card use by the driver and can no longer concentrate. What is up with the cash entitlement complex of cab drivers? I know it's marginally inconvenient for you, but it's marginally inconvenient for me to pay for the price of the ride. So it evens out, okay?

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

(12.23.08) Recommends:

Scenes From Little Armenia.

So the other day we were out walking around, exploring Little Armenia, which is a little neighborhood nestled roughly between Hollywood and Thai Town and which, incidentally (and somewhat inexplicably), has a pretty decent $20 all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant which has all of these elaborate restrictions on the all-you-can-eat meal, including an ominous, though we're guessing never enforced, threat written on the menu that you are being timed, and if you eat for too long you will be asked to leave. The place specializes in spicy sushi rolls, complete with a "if you can eat a certain amount of such and such spicy roll, we'll put your picture up on a wall." Again, all somewhat inexplicable.

Anyway. As we were saying. We were exploring the neighborhood and came across the following sign:




And the sign seemed pretty perfect. Here we were, in this pretty hard to explain neighborhood, during a time when the country and, in fact, literally the entire world, has been gripped by an almost palatable sense of weariness and nervousness and relentless bad news. And then we saw this sign and realized that though the people walking along the street might have differet lots in life, might be at different points in life, might be aiming for different goals in life, there are certain things that are common to us all. It's a useful thing to keep in the back of our minds, as we go about our day to day lives.



December 23, 2008 - Lisa's Story

Today, I follow a link in an e-mail from the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society to “Call to Action: Health Reform 2009,” a white paper issued by U.S. Senator Max Baucus, chair of the Senate Finance Committee. I only have time to glance at it briefly in this busy holiday season, but one real-life story catches my eye – not only because it’s the story of a blood cancer patient, but also because it’s an all-too common story in America’s dysfunctional health-care funding system:

“In 2006, Lisa Kelly was diagnosed with acute leukemia. She had insurance – an AARP Medical Advantage plan, underwritten by UnitedHealth Group Inc. with a monthly premium of $185. Unfortunately, the policy had a $37,000 annual limit. And due to the flimsy coverage provided by her policy, the hospital, M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, requested an up-front cash payment of $105,000 before it would start providing chemotherapy treatment.

Ms. Kelly enrolled in a high-risk insurance plan administered by Blue Cross Blue Shield of Texas in February 2007, with a monthly premium of $633. Since her cancer was a pre-existing condition, she had to wait one year for the new plan to cover her treatment. Although Blue Cross started paying her new hospital bills earlier this year, Ms. Kelly is still personally responsible for more than $145,000 in bills incurred before February 2008, and she is paying $2,000 each month for those bills. In June, she learned that after being in remission for more than a year, her leukemia has returned.”
( “Call to Action: Health Reform 2009,” p. 11)

This kind of story really makes me angry. Here’s a person who didn’t just blow off the need for medical insurance. She went out and bought insurance she could afford. She undoubtedly thought she was covered for pretty much anything that could happen to her. A $37,000 annual limit does sound like a lot of money to a healthy person.

It's not. Anyone who’s been around Cancer World knows that cap is woefully inadequate: but most people don’t realize how rapidly and how high medical expenses can pile up, when certain illnesses come crashing down on you from out of the blue. After diagnosis, it’s even worse. You get branded as having a pre-existing condition, and then you’re up a creek without a paddle. For life.

A free-market conservative might counter, “Lisa got what she paid for: an inadequate policy. She should have shopped around more. Caveat emptor.”

All that caveat emptor (“Let the buyer beware”) talk doesn’t sit well with me. As far as I’m concerned, it’s giving unscrupulous medical-insurance companies a license to steal. If we’re learning anything as a result of the current mortgage meltdown, is that the legal sharks can devour a whole lot of victims by hiding in the fine print. What’s true for predatory mortgage loans is just as true for medical-insurance policies.

Lisa’s story is not an isolated situation. From the white paper’s executive summary:

“The U.S. is the only developed country without health coverage for all of its citizens. An estimated 45.7 million Americans, or 15.3 percent of the population, lacked health insurance in 2007 – up from 38.4 million in 2000. Those without health coverage generally experience poorer health and worse health outcomes than those who are insured. Twenty-three percent forgo necessary care every year due to cost. And a number of studies show that the uninsured are less likely to receive preventive care or even care for traumatic injuries, heart attacks, and chronic diseases. The Urban Institute reports that 22,000 uninsured adults die prematurely each year as a direct result of lacking access to care.” (p. 10)

This past Sunday, we held a Health Care Community Discussion at our church, responding to the Presidential Transition Team’s invitation to do so. The discussion went fine – a lively airing of perspectives among people of differing views. Participants completed a brief poll, the results of which we sent on to the Transition Team afterwards, via the internet.

Two church members had approached me separately, prior to the discussion, objecting that this sort of event doesn’t belong in a church. It’s “too political,” they said.

I countered that the election is over, so this couldn’t possibly be about partisan politics. Responding to an invitation from the President-Elect is different from answering the call of someone who’s still standing for election, I explained. But I doubt if either one heard me. Neither one came to the discussion, unfortunately.

I am 100% convinced that this sort of discussion does belong in the church. It probably belongs in the church more than in any other organization – with the possible exception of a hospital or other health-care provider – because we Christians follow a Lord who made healing a big part of his ministry. The American Cancer society has declared lack of medical insurance to be a risk factor for cancer (see my August 31, 2007 blog entry). If we can foster discussion that will lead, ultimately, to less people being at that kind of risk, then we – indirectly, at least – are about the work of healing.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

(12.18.08) Recommends:

Introducing: The Red Line Diaries.

So, there's no question that we've become bored with this blog over the last several months. We've spent much more time engaging in short Twitter bursts, and playing around with other mobile blogging platforms. (In fact we're -- err, I'm -- typing this waiting on the metro platform on the way home from work, so please excuse the lack of links). To this end, we're developing a new blog -- working name The Red Line Diaries -- that we hope to debut, and link to in this space, very soon.

Ooop. Here comes our train. Talk soon.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

December 17, 2008 - Revelation

This evening I teach an adult-education class on the book of Revelation. It’s the concluding session of a mini-series we’ve been doing this Advent.

Revelation may not seem, to some, like appropriate subject-matter for the jolly weeks leading up to Christmas – but, in fact, Advent is traditionally a time for reflecting on the promise of Christ’s return and the final consummation of all things.

As I teach the class, I take pains to distance my own views from those who see in Revelation definitive signs that Christ is coming soon - preceded by various cataclysmic events, hints of which can be seen in today’s news. (The most cataclysmic event in this way of thinking – something called “the Rapture,” when the faithful will be bodily taken up into heaven – doesn’t come from Revelation at all, but from a decidedly odd interpretation of 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18.) Such an interpretation of the Bible – made wildly popular by Hal Lindsay’s 1970 bestseller, The Late, Great Planet Earth, and the more recent Left Behind novels of Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins – is based on a total misreading of the scriptures, as far as I’m concerned.

Few of the Christians who gleefully advance such views realize they’re built on a minority biblical inter- pretation, dreamed up as late as the mid-19th century, that only became popular in the 20th. Rapture Theology – known to theologians by its technical term, dispensationalism – is an artificially-created interpretative grid laid over top of the scriptures, that’s out of sync with historic Christianity. It’s based on anything but a literal reading of the Bible – although most proponents will protest till they’re blue in the face that they’re not interpreting at all, but are simply reporting what scripture plainly says.

Beware of any Bible teachers who claim they never interpret the text, I always say. They’ve probably got a fifth ace up their sleeve.

Anyway, as our little group opens Revelation this evening, I’m struck yet again by how powerful is its imagery, how deep its spirituality. It truly is a difficult book to understand, but for those who persist, it yields rich treasures. It’s an especially powerful book for those who are suffering in one way or another, who have been forced by life’s hard knocks to contemplate death and the life to come.

“Then another angel came out of the temple in heaven, and he too had a sharp sickle. Then another angel came out from the altar, the angel who has authority over fire, and he called with a loud voice to him who had the sharp sickle, ‘Use your sharp sickle and gather the clusters of the vine of the earth, for its grapes are ripe.’ So the angel swung his sickle over the earth and gathered the vintage of the earth, and he threw it into the great wine press of the wrath of God. And the wine press was trodden outside the city, and blood flowed from the wine press, as high as a horse’s bridle, for a distance of about two hundred miles.” (Revelation 14:17-20)

Unless I miss my guess, that passage is the source of the iconic image of Death wielding a sickle. Is this passage unnecessarily maudlin, reveling in gory details that better belong to some teen slasher movie? Not really, considering that Revelation was written for churches undergoing severe persecution. (OK, a river of blood deep as a horse’s bridle is obvious hyperbole, but its poetic imagery would have spoken to the persecuted, all the same.)

Most people with only a superficial understanding of Revelation think the book is all about shocking imagery like this. Yet, those who persist in reading the entire book soon realize its intention is not to incite fear. No, the deep message of Revelation – a drumbeat that begins softly in the first chapters, slowly swelling to crescendo by the book’s triumphant conclusion – is that of hope, hope for those who have suffered much:

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying,
'See, the home of God is among mortals.
He will dwell with them; they will be his peoples,
and God himself will be with them;
he will wipe every tear from their eyes.
Death will be no more;
mourning and crying and pain will be no more,
for the first things have passed away.'”
(Revelation 21:3-4)

Revelation frankly acknowledges the agonies and heartaches of life, but at the end of the day, its message is deeply healing:

“Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city. On either side of the river is the tree of life with its twelve kinds of fruit, producing its fruit each month; and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.” (Revelation 22:1-2)

Every time I reach into the baptismal font and scoop up some water to pour over a baby’s head, the bright drops that drip from my cupped palm are the water of life. Such a vision is what keeps me going, despite the inescapable signs of death and suffering I’ve seen. It’s what keep us all going, we who have sensed the touch of God in our lives.

“The Spirit and the bride say, ‘Come.’
And let everyone who hears say, ‘Come.’
And let everyone who is thirsty come.
Let anyone who wishes take the water of life as a gift.”
(Revelation 22:17)

Monday, December 15, 2008

December 16, 2008 - Cancer: The World's Top Killer

Recently I ran across an Associated Press article that began with these words:

“Cancer will overtake heart disease as the world's top killer by 2010, part of a trend that should more than double global cancer cases and deaths by 2030, international health experts said in a report released Tuesday.

Rising tobacco use in developing countries is believed to be a huge reason for the shift, particularly in China and India, where 40 percent of the world’s smokers now live.”


So, cancer’s about to become #1 in the deadly-disease sweepstakes. That, the article goes on to say, is based on estimates of 12 million cancer diagnoses per year – and, 7 million cancer deaths per year.

My diagnosis puts me in good company, evidently. Not that I want to have any traveling companions on this journey, of course.

It’s sad to read about so many smoking-related lung cancer deaths - especially in places like China and India, where incomes are so low people can barely afford the cigarettes, let alone the treatment they’re likely to need one day, if they keep on puffing. I know, from hard family experience, what that sort of death is like. My father died of emphysema and lung cancer, after a lifetime of two- or three-pack-a-day smoking. It was not a pretty sight.

“By 2030,” the article continues, “there could be 75 million people living with cancer around the world, a number that many health care systems are not equipped to handle.”

My chemotherapy treatments and the accompanying diagnostic tests cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $100,000, most of it paid by insurance. Of all the people in the world, I’m one of the fortunate – and comparatively wealthy – few who can afford this sort of treatment. Most others, faced with a diagnosis of lymphoma, or any other deadly cancer, would have to content themselves with palliative treatments.

If you’re in doubt whether the adjective “rich” can be applied to you, try comparing your income to that of most other people on this planet. You can do so in a few mouse clicks, by keying your approximate annual income into the Global Rich List calculator.

Sobering facts, indeed.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

A Good Idea!

So, it seems that since we can only get satellite and it's so expensive to install, and we are crushingly broke right now, that we will not have regular internet service for a while. I had a wonderful idea today though! I can get a blank CD and put pictures and entries on it and then upload a weeks worth of blogs once a week!

So my point is keep reading! I've got so much to share and talk about!

I will try to make my weekly updates regular - I'm thinking Thursdays and Fridays will work well since Thursday is our regular library day - so leave me comments too because I'll be checking them! I miss you all :)

In other news an Alaskan cold front is moving our way and we have had the first snow of the season! Living on a very steep hill assures that we are going nowhere when it snows - but who wants to go anywhere when you can play in the forest snow! :)

Warm wishes to you all!

A Good Idea!

So, it seems that since we can only get satellite and it's so expensive to install, and we are crushingly broke right now, that we will not have regular internet service for a while. I had a wonderful idea today though! I can get a blank CD and put pictures and entries on it and then upload a weeks worth of blogs once a week!

So my point is keep reading! I've got so much to share and talk about!

I will try to make my weekly updates regular - I'm thinking Thursdays and Fridays will work well since Thursday is our regular library day - so leave me comments too because I'll be checking them! I miss you all :)

In other news an Alaskan cold front is moving our way and we have had the first snow of the season! Living on a very steep hill assures that we are going nowhere when it snows - but who wants to go anywhere when you can play in the forest snow! :)

Warm wishes to you all!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

December 11, 2008 - I Missed My Cancerversary

Generally speaking, it’s not a good thing to miss an anniversary. Spouses and significant others tend not to be amused by such lapses of decorum.

When it comes to the anniversary of one’s cancer diagnosis, though – one’s cancerversary, some call it – it’s different. A cancerversary can actually be a good thing to forget.

I missed mine this year. Even though the date sits right up there at the top of this blog, bold as brass, I missed it. This December 2 marked three years since that day Claire and I sat in Dr. Lerner’s office and heard him deliver the news.

What does it mean that I forgot my cancerversary? It means I continue to feel fine, even though tests and scans keep flagging enlarged lymph nodes here and there. It means I’ve been so busy, I haven’t been thinking about cancer as much as I used to. It means, in simple calendar terms, I’ve simply put more distance between that day and today.

I can’t relax completely, of course. I can’t put it behind me. I’m not in remission, after all.

That’s the paradox of this indolent variety of the illness. Except for that flickering scan image on some radiologist’s monitor, you feel fine. Life goes on. Yet, all the while, silently and sneakily, the malignancy continues to lurk, and sometimes even to grow. It’s the tiny, hard pea under the stack of mattresses.

Still and all, it’s probably a good thing that December 2 passed me by, without black crepe and dirges. It shows I’m slowly learning how to live with this thing.

Monday, December 8, 2008

December 9, 2008 - David Bailey: Survivorship Guide

I’ve written before (see September 14th) about David M. Bailey, singer-songwriter and brain-cancer survivor. I happen to be on his e-mail list, and have been dismayed to learn in recent weeks that his cancer is back and he’s already had to have surgery. After that, he was all ready to have a second operation to install a port in his skull, through which advanced treatments could be directly delivered, but that’s been delayed, for now. The docs are trying to figure out whether a relapsed patient like him can qualify to get this particular treatment (evidently it’s only been approved for those who haven’t had any treatment previously).

In an earlier e-mail (November 29th), he reflects on the stages of adjustment he went through, after learning of his relapse:

“1 - I did the ‘it’s not fair!’ thing but that got old really fast and ended quickly. Of course it’s not fair. It’s also not fair that I already survived over 12 years when so many others have not. And so on.

2 - I did the ‘I can’t do this again!’ thing but that mindset also had to end with a resolute conclusion that it's not a matter of can or can’t. And way before you can even begin to think about mind over matter, you first have to tackle spirit over mind.

3 - When this first happened in 1996 I was unprepared for the multiple levels of healing needed or the bucket of new tools needed for the new journey. This time I’m a wee bit wiser – and for sure, with that wisdom comes some anticipatory dread but also, eventually, slowly, so very slowly, tiny glimmers of hope make their way through the dark. So many of you have been those glimmers to me, reminding me often in my own words things I know are true but still need to rediscover in a new way.

4 - Part of my dismay has been a humbling sense of awareness that so many have found a measure of hope in my last dozen years that to some degree I’d become a symbol of what is possible – a humbling role, but also a sometimes heavy mantle. Well, here’s the scoop. To myself, my family, friends, and fans I make this pledge: I will do as I have passionately pleaded with you to do in thousands of performances:

• I will not ask ‘Why me?’ I will only ask ‘What now?’
• I will practice loving the time. All the time.
• I will insist that the message of hope still never grows old.
• I will endeavor to share that hope, even when I don’t feel it.
• I will remain aware that there are always others walking a harder road than I.
• I will cling to the simple truth that ‘Life Goes On.’
• I will whisper with conviction the angels’ call to ‘Do Not Be Afraid’
• With the love you have already so freely shared, I will know that I am not alone.
• I will keep on walking as long as I am able and God willing, should the sun come up I will shout hallelujah for one. more. day.

Then make coffee.

I don’t know what is waiting but I’m on my way to meeting it.”


I quoted this rather extensive excerpt from David’s e-mail because, to me, he’s a wonderful guide for those of us who are at earlier stages of the survivorship journey. None of us are going to walk exactly the same road, of course, when it comes to remissions, relapses and treatments. But, if we can approach bad news with even a portion of the strength, humility and honesty that David has, we’ll be well on our way to triumphantly dealing with this thing.

One of the things David’s been doing, as he lies there in the hospital, has been to write poetry. I expect that, as a songwriter, it’s something he does all the time. But, this poetry is different. It’s not so polished as the song lyrics on his albums. It’s still kind of a rough draft – doggerel, almost. But, it’s gritty and it’s real. Maybe some songs still in the gestation process?

Here’s an excerpt from an e-mail he sent around on December 6th:

“As the dust has settled, three pillars do remain
Each one stands tall and true and each one has a name
The first one and clearly the biggest of the three:
The pillar of love will never ever fail me
The second one, more slender, but still at least as strong
The pillar of hope lets me sing another song
The third one, the pillar of faith completes the set
They’re ready for the roof; but I am not quite yet
See, I knew something was missing; it just took a little time
To make my head and heart finally get in line
It’s coming back and I can feel it like wind beneath my wings
It’s a simple thing called gratitude and it changes everything
Grateful for my family, grateful for my friends
Grateful to our God for a world that has no end
Grateful to my church and for a thousand meals
Grateful for all the cards – with or without the Starbucks seal :-)
But now it gets much harder, now the rubber meets the road
Can I still be grateful when my soul wants to explode?
Every single second? Maybe not, but I will try
If nothing else, it might make a few folks wonder why
Grateful for the needles, the nurses and the drugs
Grateful for the bruises and the stitches and the hugs
Grateful for the doctors, the interns and the staff
Grateful for the unexpected things that make me laugh
It takes a little practice, but deep down it feels good
Gratitude lets you win more than you thought you could
Pour it deep in your foundation
Make it part of who you are
Then watch the world change like the healing of a scar.”


Grace and peace, David. You’re a guide for all of us.

Moving Days: Still Working on Life...

We are officially unpacked, and starting to feel human again. We had a lovely dinner with friends last night and that soothed our tired souls.

The internet guy is coming today to see if he can get a signal, I hope he can. I know we can get sattelite hook up but I would hate to do that again. We just had that where we were and it was so slow I could barely pull up my normal blogs I read let alone comment on them. They had a ridiculous download limit too. I downloaded one, one hour long Rifftrax and that put us over our limit for the whole month and the internet did not work at all the rest of the month! In short, I hope we can get a good connection where I can read blogs and watch videos - otherwise I don't see the point in paying for it since that's about all I do online anyway.

I feel like a new shoot sprouting from the earth, pushing my way past the hard part to bask, fragile yet living, in the shinning sun. I feel my life taking a new path.

Moving Days: Still Working on Life...

We are officially unpacked, and starting to feel human again. We had a lovely dinner with friends last night and that soothed our tired souls.

The internet guy is coming today to see if he can get a signal, I hope he can. I know we can get sattelite hook up but I would hate to do that again. We just had that where we were and it was so slow I could barely pull up my normal blogs I read let alone comment on them. They had a ridiculous download limit too. I downloaded one, one hour long Rifftrax and that put us over our limit for the whole month and the internet did not work at all the rest of the month! In short, I hope we can get a good connection where I can read blogs and watch videos - otherwise I don't see the point in paying for it since that's about all I do online anyway.

I feel like a new shoot sprouting from the earth, pushing my way past the hard part to bask, fragile yet living, in the shinning sun. I feel my life taking a new path.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

IDAS-WDI Videos Now Available

Faculty from 2008 pose at celebration dinner

Many videos are now available from the International Debate Academy 2008 recently concluded in Slovenia (IDAS). The videos feature a wide variety of subjects in training for the WUDC format from a wide variety of instructors from all over the world.

A complete archive can be found at http://www.uvm.edu/~debate/watch/?M=D where the videos listed as "idas08" are the ones you are interested in. This is a huge archive and may contain many other videos of interest to you.

The videos will be individually released with annotations on the Debate Video website at http://debatevideoblog.blogspot.com/ .

The videos are all in the .M4V or Podcast format. They can be watched from within your iTunes player or by opening them from within the Quicktime application. Because they are high quality and relatively large, you might want to download them.

For latest IDAS news go to
http://internationaldebateacademy.blogspot.com/

For Information about IDAS go to
http://debate.uvm.edu/idas.html

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

(12.03.08) Recommends:

Scenes from Crazy Hook.

Anybody who's been following our Twitter feed knows that we've been pretty obsessed with all these Pirate stories from the last few months. So, in the spirit of staying abreast of current events, we recently hit up our favorite neighborhood in Los Angeles, for a night out at Crazy Hook, Koreatown's very own dot, dot, dot pirate bar/restaurant.




One of the things we love about Koreatown is that its bar owners and restuaranteurs are not shy at taking on novelty themes (pirate bars, robot bars, etc) and not being too cool to actually really run with the themes. For intstance, take the Redwood Bar and Grill, which is located downtown and which we mentioned yesterday. It is billed as a pirate bar, but other than maybe a pirate flag and the bar having lots of dark wood and thus giving off a vaguely nautical feel, it's a "pirate bar" mostly because "hipsters" say it is.

Yeah, Crazyhook has pirate flags:




And, yeah, the interior is dark, wooden, and generally feels like you're on a boat.

And it has a pirate greeter who bares a striking resemblance to Grateful Dead guiatarist Bob Weir (in the foreground, and skeptical friends in the background):




It also has, of course, the obligatory one armed/one hooked pirate who would like to take his picture with you:




But lest you get too complacant around the pirates, know that they usually kidnap and string up at least one female patron nightly:




(note: this fact is more or less made up) There are pretty much dangerous pirates lurking in every dark corner of the place:




Of course, in addition to really taking the themes seriously, the other thing that Korean establishments use that, for reasons unbeknownst to us, their US counterparts have not gotten smart to, is the Booze Botton:




The genuis of the Booze Button is that the servers leave patrons alone to enjoy the company of their companions until the moment the group hits the button, then, seemingly out of nowhere, a server arrives leaving your group with exactly what you want when you want it (namely, centimeters and centimeters of yummy beer)




After a few centimeters of beer and the Crazy Hook sign starts showing up in all sorts of funky colors:






Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Far Out!

Seems we're living too far out these days and the interent company is saying they cannot service us at all :( We're working on it though, we're sure we can find a way. In the meantime I'll be updating you from my in-laws computer and random library computers.

(((hugs)))

Far Out!

Seems we're living too far out these days and the interent company is saying they cannot service us at all :( We're working on it though, we're sure we can find a way. In the meantime I'll be updating you from my in-laws computer and random library computers.

(((hugs)))

(12.02.08) Recommends:

Signs You'd Probably Rather Not See.

So we recently visited Santa Monica with a friend. We were on a seafood eating excursion. Our destination was to be Enterprise Fish Co. It should be noted that there was a general reluctance on our part to visit this place because it contains some sketchy info on its website. If you don't click through the link, just know that it advertises a portion of the restaurant that offers "bottle service." Question Mark. Bottle service? At a seafood restaurant? Really? How can that possibly be necessary/justified/non-completely-obnoxious?

We were skeptical.

We were in the mood for oysters.

We gave it a try.


Here's a look at the place from the outside:





Now. We happen to love seafood. But we know a lot of otherwise reasonable people who do not. Some of these people don't like it because they don't like the "fishy smell." We can understand that, we just happen to be fine with the smell. The smell of raw sewage and/or possibly feces, on the otherhand? That's pretty much been universally discredited as an acceptable culinary aroma by now. It's unclear, however, whether Enterpirse Fish Co. ever received the memo, because when we went to open the doors, we saw this:




Yes, shut down because of a "sewage" violation. Yikes. Here's a copy of the code for those interested.

Bottle service was strike one. We're afraid sewage violations are strike two and three. Sigh.



(12.02.08) Recommends:

The Hackensaw Boys.

It's been a rainy/misty/foggy start to the holiday season here in Los Angeles. And, for some reason, rainy/misty/foggy holidays makes us want to listen to bluegrass and drink beer with friends in a setting that features lots of wood, or fake wood paneling if wood is too expensive (and what with the economic crisis we're in, this is probable). We're completely serious about this. We're not sure why we feel this way, but we do. Sort of like how listening to the Strokes' album Room on Fire makes us think of driving around Kansas City with a gentle snow falling.

Well, as an aside, now that we think about it, we actually understand that Strokes connection. We were in the year between graduating college and moving on to our next adventure. We lived in a part of town that was ostensibly hip and as a result our car was broken into three times. The first two times, during the fall, just the windows were smashed but nothing was taken. We actually took this somewhat as an insult because we had hundreds of CDs strewn about the car and not a single one was taken. We figured the thief thought we had bad taste in music and were deeply offended. The third time was during the early winter, and apparently wanting to preserve energy during the cold season, the thief got tricky/steathy. We entered the car. Started it and headed to work. Silence. This seemed weird so we looked down at the car stereo. Only to see that the car stereo had been stolen. Again, all of the CDs we had were entact, but we happened to have the aforementioned Strokes album in the CD player so that one was lost. And in the interim, rather than just going to buy a new car CD player and a new Strokes CD, we would drive around with our laptop open, playing the CD through our laptop speakers (we happened to have, cough cough, downloaded the album prior to purchasing it). Because the part of town we lived in was more ostensibly hip than actually hip (we mean seriously, if this was an actual hip part of town the thief would have left us a goddam thank you note for allowing him/her to behold such an impressive CD collection; at the least s/he would have taken them all to look cool around friends. Not that we haven't gotten over the snub or anything), there were many nights were we'd have nothing interesting to do. So we'd drive a long loop around the city, listening to the Strokes Room on Fire as a light snow fell. The end.

Anyway. Moving on. Here are some pictures of a show that the Hackensaw Boys recently put on at the Redwood Bar & Grill, a random pirate-themed bar downtown. Pirate bar, of course it is. The Hackensaw Boys are a rowdy countrypunkbluegrass band and they put on a very entertaining live act.






















We also recorded some sound. We like this first song because it's about The End Times Coming. And with transformative American authors commiting suicide, and worldwide financial meltdowns, and major/historic elections, and stories of pirates hijacking ships appearing with near daily regularity in the NY Times, and bad-action-movie-plot style attacks in India, all occuring within months of each other, it kinda sorta seems like this song might be on to something.



We like this next song because the band announces they're from Virgina, and if you listen closely, you can hear people in the crowd saying, in a nod to the McCain/Palin campaign and a nod to the memory of George Allen, "Welcome to America" and "the realVirgina?"



Finally, this last clip we like because, well, because the singer insists on making "Pirate noises" as the band looks for its missing fiddle player, and because the banjo player -- we've got a rather large soft spot on the banjo -- seems to get a little bored waiting and breaks into some killer banjo soloing. Yes, we went there: we just said killer banjo soloing.



Now, if you've gotten this far you may be saying to yourself: Man, it's kinda strange that you're into bluegrass music played in a manic style. Or: Man, it's kinda strange that there's a pirate-themed bar so far away from the craggy coastline of Somalia (Note: we think it's some sort of rule of AP Style that the NYTimes cannot draft an article about pirates without mentioning said pirates' proxmity off the "craggy coastline of Somalia," craggy being a word I've seen used in print perhaps never prior to Pirategate '08).

However. We submit that the strangest thing to come of all of this is that when we took the subway home -- from Union Station to the Hollywood/Vine station -- we noticed the top of the inside of Union Station is covered with hanging -- strategically or otherwise -- male manequin/blow up dolls -- or, omg, is it possible that they're Real Dolls; oh yikes, please say no. We're not kidding around: