This is the fourth and finale post in a series I wrote on men and boys. These posts are aimed at gaining a deeper level of understanding for the men and boys in our lives and how our attitudes and actions affect the relationships we have with the our precious male people.
I welcome your feedback, questions and suggestions. If you would like to guest post on this series email me please at aylayoga at gmail dot com
The Top 10 Things to Do for Your Men Right Now
1. Love them, unconditionally.
Love your boys manly traits, guide him gently and love your husband for who he is, do not try and change him. JUST LOVE.
2. In media seek out good examples and prevent bad ones.
Encourage your young boy's interest in in heroes and strong leaders by providing good books, stories, and movies about admirable men. Do not allow them to take part in media which is degrading to men/boys, masculinity or which channels their natural abilities into gratuitous violence.
3. Step Back
Make sure that you're not trying to "do it all" both for your sake and the sake of your husband and boys. Why stress out trying to control when and how your men are doing something? Allow them to take the reins, do not push or dominate.
4. Pick Your Battles
Along with stepping back, let go. Let your boys climb trees, let your husband blow off steam how he sees fit (i.e. going fishing, hanging with the guys, time alone, etc.) Choose to voice concern only over those things that truly need concern such as abuse, neglect, etc. Your men will be much more likely to hear you if you're not always nagging them.
5. Men are men, women are women.
Recognize that men and boys are not women. They do not want the same things as you, they do not value the same things as you, they do not react to things like you do. Once you recognize it, value it in words, thoughts and deeds.
6. Mother when appropriate
When your son is 7 and under smother him with love. Once he is older, guide him with help from the men in your life and community. You're always his mother but you are not his "hover." Do not mother your husband. That's not what he needs from you. He has a mother already, be his biggest supporter, the president of his fan club and let him live his life the way he sees fit. He's a big boy, I promise.
7. Need Them
Need your boys and men. Ask for their help. Give yourself a break from being superwoman and let them be your supermen.
8. Watch your words, watch your actions
You wouldn't laugh at a racist joke, why laugh at an anti-man joke? Honor your men, little and big and don't support feminism run amuck instead value equal worth.
9. Get in tune with Mother Earth
She has so many examples of the balance and the natural roles of the masculine and feminine. Look to the animals and the plants, see their wisdom.
10. Honor yourself, educate yourself
Respect and honor your role as wife and mother. Value it. Then see how you can use it to support your family's team - your family mission. Read at least one book per year aimed at gaining a deeper insight into men and boys.
So this concludes my Men and Boys Series. This is a wrap up of one woman's ideas on understanding our men. I'm not saying it's gospel truth - just my opinion based on my research and experiences. I hope you have enjoyed it, I hope you have gotten something out of it. I hope at the very least that it was thought provoking.
I love feedback on this!
