I should preface this article with a few statements of fact. I am a supporter, fighter and rabble-rouser on behalf of real, full equality and partnership between men and women which is in line with their needs, desires and family roles. I’ve marched in demonstrations, my kids strapped to my back, to advance many progressive causes and I do my best to live a lifestyle consistent with my values.
I believe each woman makes the best choice she can for her family and I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with *some* mothers working or *some* mothers honestly having to work. Please see this essay as a challenge to the current, post-second wave feminism, corporate dominated, status quo. I am not trying to further the “Mommy wars,” I am simply providing one opinion, one way to look at the family within our society.
If you are a working mother I do not judge you, I do not pity you, and I do not blame you. When I was younger I was taught that women must work outside the home to be happy and fulfilled. I’ve learned that this is not the case and that being a stay-at-home mother can and is a wonderful experience. I’m glad that years ago I read information which challenged what I was taught and now I wish to chime in too, for the next generation of Mommies.
Personally my deepest calling is motherhood. Being a mother is a true gift and far too often it is a gift that our money-driven society has talked women out of enjoying. A generation ago women pushed for the right to be in the workplace and now, in my generation, we find that right has turned into an expectation from without and within.
The bond between a mother and child is a deep emotional, biological and spiritual force. To rob both the mother and the children of their natural state of domestic harmony and mutual growth is a crime visited upon our nation by the corporate powers-that-be. After the women’s movement of the 1960’s and 70’s, corporations, the real rulers of our nation, found that having women in the workplace was great. They could pay them less for the same job a man did and the extra income meant families could buy more “stuff” and a multi-billion dollar daycare industry sprang up.
Let’s just consider what would happen if all partnered, heterosexual, mothers in our country with children less than 16 years old worked no more than 12 hours per week. (I say heterosexual because out of a lesbian couple one of the mothers must work to support the family.)
The first, most obvious change would be in the job market. Millions of jobs would be freed up over night. The people staffing the jobs would need to replace the mothers with men, single women, childless women or mothers of adult children. I believe that very well may mean everyone who needs a job could have one.
But don’t mothers need their jobs? That’s a quick defense. This isn’t the 1950’s anymore, things have changed. Yes, things have and many families could not fathom living on only one income. Here’s the second huge bonus of mothers returning home – simplification.
One of the reasons one income worked in the 1950’s was because people had less. Amazing concept. They also carried little to no debt and housing costs were lower. Many families who bought homes during the modern housing bubble are faced with huge monthly payments.
There are many solutions to the housing issue. Sharing homes, selling off expansive luxury items such as RVs and boats and doing without that cruise this year may help many put some money toward reducing their monthly payments. Best of all however is the fact that people could down size their homes.
We have become accustom to these modern grandiose living spaces of one, two or three thousand feet. The average family home a generation ago was more around 8-900 feet and those families survived. Sure there may have been a wait to get into the bathroom sometimes. Often siblings shared rooms, guests slept on the couch, and the TVs were *much* smaller.
This brings me to my next point. Living off one income is easier if you do away with the huge plasma TV (and the credit card bill that went with it), the cable or satellite TV, the fancy internet, the game systems, the constant movie rentals, etc. Imagine if instead of relying on push button entertainment the mother staying at home dreamed up creative ways to spend quality family time where the children interacted with their parents. Card games, board games, charades, block parties, and reading would all find new fans.
Cutting back on the TV should lead to cutting back on many appliances around the house. Do we really need all those fancy mechanical gadgets? In the 70’s the average family had two things in their home which remained plugged in at all times. Now we have an average of 27 things ALWAYS plugged in! Think about the energy savings once all those things are unplugged!
The so-called “need” for electronic entertainment and gadgets is purely physiological. As a human race we have gone so many years without them it honestly won’t kill us to give them up, I promise, and it won’t kill the kids either no matter how much they feel like it will. Children are marvelous at adjusting, eventually.
So if mom is staying home guess what other benefits we have - healthier, cheaper food! You would be amazed at the enormous savings there are to be had when Mom spends a little extra time cooking up homemade dishes from lentils, polenta, pasta, beans, homemade breads, cakes and rolls, quinoa, rice, home grown herbs, berries and veggies – and just think of the health benefits!
These foods would contain no dyes, no artificial sweeteners, no preservatives, no artificial flavors, etc. The mind boggles at the thought of all the better behaved children we will have in our communities once they ditch the Ritalin in favor of healthy food and more attention.
Cutting back our family spending to meet the income of one bread winner is a great boost the environment too. Less prepackaged food, recycled clothing form the thrift shop instead of always purchasing brand new and brand name, and far less junk we buy on impulse just to make ourselves feel better.
So the next question might be; wont cutting back our spending mean that less money is going into the economy and we’ll just lose the jobs we created by mothers leaving the work force? Not by a long shot. It will trim the fat for sure. People who make a living exploiting over worked, over burdened families with cheap goods will have to find a new line of work but that doesn’t reflect most jobs in America. Buying less “stuff” will lead to fewer jobs in China for sure, but not here.
What will change is this; when you purchase something you buy smaller and outright. You know you can’t afford a Mercedes bill every month so you save up for six months to buy the older model Chevy instead. You realize that if a television set is something you are going to spring for you save up and purchase a modest priced one because you know you can’t afford a ballooning credit card payment.
What we will lose is the billions of dollars sucked out of us at every opportunity by the elite and their corporations. Their ungodly interest charges and their mental manipulation of the masses will cease. If Mom is home she is able to be more active in her children’s lives. The TV is on less or not at all. Billions of dollars in brain warping advertising is missed, money saved and evil businesses tank while local business and community economies thrive.
Families take a deep breath, they slow down, they do less, they own less and they find out that they are happier for it. The earth has less junk piling up at its doorstep, real jobs take strong root in our local economies, and we all wake up from this corporate orchestrated nightmare we’ve been living in for thirty years.
It all starts with moms waking up and saying, “I’m not dropping my kids at daycare today. I’m not slaving away for less money so that I can miss the best years of my family’s life together. I am woman, hear me roar! I won’t take this elitist bull anymore! I’m staying home with my kids. I’m cooking them good meals, helping them to learn and to grow. My family’s mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health will no longer be compromised by this anti-women, anti-motherhood, pro-greed agenda we’ve been sold! Kids get your coats; we’re going to the park!”
While down the street that mother’s job goes to a man with a family who was just laid off from his job and a bit of harmony begins to re-weave itself into our lives as humans.
