Nykki's karate performance last year.
The boys have karate lessons today. I like karate for few reasons. First, it's a really positive way to get some boy energy out all the while learning from Sensei that, "There is no first strike in karate." It is purely a defensive art for when one is attacked, not for attacking.
"All I have are my empty hands," they repeat in class. It's not about knives, guns, or bombs. I embrace that. My boys are boys, they crave a way to explore, hunt, and fight, at least this way they learn to fight in the most responsible way possible.
I highly recommend the book Raising A Son: Parents and the Making of a Healthy Man by Don and Jeanne Elium. In this book they discuss the important mental development of boys to men.
First, a boy lives in his mother's world. He nurses at her breast and sleeps by her side. Then at around age 7 he crosses into his father's world. He wants to learn about his father and his work. A few years after that a boy needs to learn from other men in his "village". He needs strong mentors and guiders as he decides which path to choose for himself. All of these steps are crucial.
If a boy is growing up without a father an uncle, cousin or neighbor (and I imagine a working mother if he has two moms) will do just fine as long as they are very attentive and involved in his interests and development.
Raising boys to become healthy men is a tremendous challenge. My oldest is nearly seven so I don't claim to be an expert but I know that giving boys real life outlets for energy along with positive role models, such as in karate, is an important step in their development.
