Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Friends

Can I be really honest and upfront for a second?

I'm losing friends over becoming LDS.

What? I hear some of you say.

Yep, and even some I'm not losing keep a steady trickle coming into my in-box of "Why are you letting yourself be brainwashed?" and "Why are you joining a racist church?" emails and even these people are more, shall we say, quiet, on the friend-front. It seems a lot of my friends are scurrying away faster than the barn cats when the door bangs.

What the heck? I've given well written, scholarly presented, spiritualy universal reasonings for joining the church and yet - for some reason - those who are very close to me, who know me very well, former members and non alike think I'm suddenly brainwashed?

Have I begun blubbering on my blog? Am I studdering? Am I suddenly being so non-coherant as to make people close to me think I've lost my faculties?

Really, let's pause and think for a moment. Those who really know me. I'm choosing to join the largest church on earth with a concept of a Goddess, an admonishment from God about meat consumption, an early pracitice of magick and natural living and a universal doctrine of salvation. Is this REALLY so out of step with the Ayla you know?

I think I can be a voice of peace and love in one of the largest choirs - heck yeah! You all know me, and I don't sit around and complain, I get involved.

Yes, I may have pushed more before - ben more "in your face". But guess what I'm learning, that doesn't convince people to think about or accept new ideas - surprise, surprise!

The younger Ayla might have gone and spray-painted a huge pink vagina on temple square to get my point across. The new Ayla feels like I make much more of an impact simply raising my hand in RS and reminding everyone about Emma's role in the attaining of the golden plates.

I don't like to use my MA in defense but seriously y'all, I have a MASTER"S DEGREE in a branch of theology and suddenly I can be so easily brainwashed? *sigh* After five years of Mormon study I am brainwashed?

Honestly, people I can handle myself. I'm joining the church that people like Black Panther co-creator Eldridge Cleaver decided was true and people think it's weird?

Seriously? Do you know me? Really?

Some of you grew up in the church and had bad expereinces, really bad, and some of you just think like the majority of outsiders, that Mormonism is a cult. Either way your expereince is not mine and I can handle myself - really and it's very insulting that after all the lengthy explination in the links on the side bar you think I can't.

I've always maintained that I'm trying to be LDS, I've stated very clearly that I have my limits and would not violate my own principles and if the two don't jive, they don't jive and I go somewhere else.

11th article of faith -right?