Thursday, October 7, 2010

Headlines - Thursday October 7

Happy almost ten years of fighting for nothing in Afghanistan (never forget!)

Who knew we'd be fighting Monkeys and also Losing in ten years?

Happy "Whoops, We Invaded Afghanistan" Day! (Of course, back then it was called "Operation Hooray We 'Liberated' Afghanistan from the Towelheads … Enduring Freedom") Nine years ago today, America sat on its XXL fundillo and "channel surfed" for cool night-vision footage of Kabul exploding and CNN cellphone camera videos of Army Rangers killing ("liberating") things. This is what "war" means: Good Television. Everyone loved this war so much, because Afghanistan was harboring a terrorist and what's up with that, even though the United States harbors terrorists every single day, so that they can attend Harvard Business School/build Nazi V-2 spaceship rockets for us? Well at any rate, you are supposed to buy your girlfriend "tin" for your almost-tenth wedding anniversary, so you should probably FedEx Karzai a tin foil hat, so that he will have something nice to wear/deflect alien death rays with when he surrenders to the Taliban, like a pussy. [Politics Daily]

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Couldn't happen to a better company. Jim Cramer recently called Monsanto "the worst stock of the year."
 
The company's stock, which rose steadily over several years to peak at around $140 a share in mid-2008, closed Monday at $47.77, having fallen about 42 percent since the beginning of the year. Its earnings for the fiscal year that ended in August, which will be announced Wednesday, are expected to be well below projections made at the beginning of the year, and the company has abandoned its profit goal for 2012 as well.

The latest blow came last week, when early returns from this year's harvest showed that Monsanto's newest product, SmartStax corn, which contains eight inserted genes, was providing yields no higher than the company's less expensive corn, which contains only three foreign genes.

Yeah, I wonder how many farmers were coerced and strong-armed into buying SmartStax, only to find that the previous generation was basically the same.

Pity party for Monsanto. Awwwwww.

Actually, serious pity party for all of the farmers they've scammed. Seriously, I hope there's a massive class action suit against Monsanto for the SmartStax.

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About 25 students wearing rainbow buttons in protest of the Catholic Church's recent anti-gay DVD campaign were denied communion on Sunday by Archbishop John Nienstedt.
The St. John's action was coordinated by students, including members of People Representing the Sexual Minority (PRiSM), which represents gay and lesbian students and their friends and allies. That Sunday, according to those at the mass, about two dozen worshipers positioned themselves to receive communion from Nienstedt, who was saying his first student mass at the abbey. Some reached for the communion wafer but were denied it. Rather, the archbishop raised his hand in blessing. The archdiocese long has denied communion to members of the Rainbow Sash Movement, who wear the colors to mass in protest of the church's stance in opposition to homosexual relationships. Its leader, Brian McNeil, said the action at St. John's was not connected to his group.
A just-formed Catholic lay group called Return The DVD has collected about 1000 discs sent to them by angry congregants. They have also raised $5000 to feed Minnesota's hungry, an action they say is more appropriate to the Catholic mission. The Minnesota archdiocese has mailed out 400,000 anti-gay DVDs.
 
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We can't wait to hear Focus On The Family's reaction to THIS.
Some schools in Colorado Springs have banned students from wearing crosses and rosaries during school hours outside their clothing. "Certain gangs have adopted crosses and rosaries as their gang symbols," District 11 spokeswoman Elaine Naleski told the Colorado Springs Gazette. The newspaper reported that Mann Middle School sent out an e-mail to parents this week reminding that if their children wears a rosary, it must be underneath the shirt.
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Lou Dobbs, the man who almost single-handedly ignited the anti-immigrant fervor that is sweeping the party of the Confederacy, employs undocumented workers to run his horse farms.

Dobbs is even more hypocritical than Meg Whitman, who made a point of firing her undocumented maid about the same time that she decided to run for governor of California, for Dobbs was against undocumented workers and those who hire them at the same time he was doing the exact same thing.                                                       

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The "Heckuvajob Award" goes to
 
The US Supreme Court. By opening the doors to huge amounts of anonymous (and foreign) campaign money, the Supremes have permitted corporations to basically buy the election. That is what the Republicans are doing, flooding the airwaves with advertising purchased by anonymous and often foreign donors, who are washing their money through front groups like the Chamber of Commerce.

This exactly is what the black-robed conservative fools on the Supreme Court denied would happen, but they seem to be rather disconnected from life on this planet.

This is exactly what the rest of us knew would happen.
 
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Jurassicpork: If You're a Woman...
 
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Tales of the Peanut Gallery
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The free market and the Republican fascists who love it have given us scores of half-built hospitals in Iraq at a cost of hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars plus millions more in incentive bonuses paid out to these same corporations that have long since been kicked out of Iraq (the Parsons Group). Halliburton, we've known for years, double billed us on fuel costs and is guilty of electrocuting our troops. Its former subsidiary Kellogg Brown and Root, had raped and imprisoned its female employees, gave the troops contaminated drinking water and poisoned our troops with bacteria-laden food and that's just the tip of the iceberg. Feeding the troops and several other functions were once the purview of the pre-Rumsfeld military. When one looks at the Republican record, one sees an unmistakable pattern of supporting private industry (ideologically and monetarily) moreso than the troops. For instance...
 
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By blocking US military convoys, Pakistan has gotten the US to apologize (a "terrible accident") for last week's helicopter rocket attack that killed two Pakistani soldiers.

If only the Pakistani government responded to the many US attacks that kill innocent civilians as strongly as it did to an attack that killed soldiers, we might be a little more impressed. When David Petraeus says he'll work to see this doesn't happen again, he clearly meant accidentally killing soldiers, not accidentally killing civilians.

Speaking of Pakistan, did anyone notice that Musharraf admitted yesterday that when he ruled Pakistan he funded militants in Kashmir?
 
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Why did Congress just pass a bill making it easier for banks to foreclose?
 
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Reuters: GOP planning to gut Wall Street regulation after election.
 
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Obama administration strongly criticized in BP spill report.
 
This is the sort of fuckery that one would have expected from the "heckovajobs" running the Bush Administration. Between deliberately understating the amount of oil spill to allowing BP to keep the press away and giving near-complete control of the cleanup to BP, the Obama Administration acted like a servant of BP.

So whose side are they on? I don't think it is ours.
 
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Yesterday, Fox & Friends committed an embarrassing gaffe when it reported on a fake story that the Los Angeles Police Department was buying 10,000 of these jetpacks at a cost of $100,000 each. The "story" originated here. At least the jetpacks themselves are real.
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My heart bleeds:

The nation's wealthy seem to be every bit as concerned about retirement as their middle-class counterparts.

In its recent study, The Age Illusion: How the Wealthy are Redefining Their Retirement, Barclays Wealth, the wealth management division of Barclays Bank(BCS), found anxiety levels running high among the affluent looking at retirement, as well as lingering doubt about financial preparedness for that phase of life.

...
As Comrade Misfit says:

"But Muffy, When We Retire, We'll Have to Settle For a Smaller Yacht and Only Three Houses!"
They should worry. Keep screwing over the proles and retirement will be the least of their concerns.
 
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In the time it takes to lick my lips, I just made $400
 
Sarah Palin Will Save Your Fetus, If You Pay Her
 
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The miracle of Chimpy's economic policies, cont.

  • Libertarian Paradise - cities are just beginning to see the effect of the downturn that began at the end of 2007 on property taxes, even though the recession officially ended in June 2009. (Reuters)
  • The long slide - ADP said U.S. private employer payrolls fell by 39,000 jobs in September. By contrast a Reuters consensus forecast was for an increase of 24,000 jobs. (Reuters)
  • A Professional Opinion - The IMF says that the United States is screwed. (AFP)
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Best depicted in crayon on a wingnut's living room wall.
 
Todd Palin's email no big deal because Palins say it isn't.
 
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'Lo, I said PAY YOUR FUCKING FIREFIGHTER FEE'

Bryan Fischer at the American Family Association's blog has heard about this situation with the family that didn't pay their $75 annual fee to be rescued from dying in a house fire, and he has thankfully decided for us What Would Jesus Have Done. Jesus would have shown compassion, right? Haha, no, do you think Jesus was a fag or something? This guy's blog post is, in all seriousness, entitled "Firefighters did the Christian thing in letting house burn to the ground." Oh, right, of course.

By the way, you have to highlight the text to see any of this, because apparently the AFA doesn't understand you shouldn't put black text on a black background.

The fire department did the right and Christian thing. The right thing, by the way, is also the Christian thing, because there can be no difference between the two. The right thing to do will always be the Christian thing to do, and the Christian thing to do will always be the right thing to do.