WASHINGTON—In what government officials are calling a stirring testament to the leadership and foresight of late U.S. president Ronald Reagan, nearly $20 trillion in low denomination bills were discovered this week buried in the White House Rose Garden.
Sealed in hundreds of old mason jars, crumpled shoe boxes, socks, metal tins, and oven mitts, the financial windfall is believed to have been stashed away by Regan, then 76, during his second term."Everything is here," added Obama, standing among the towering stacks of money, as well as several other items that were uncovered, including three dozen toothbrushes, multiple tire hubcaps, two teddy bears, and a broken desk lamp. "This truly is a tribute to Mr. Reagan's incredible presence of mind."
There is nothing I could possibly add. Heh.While the White House has indicated that it has the right to spend the recovered money and instantly bring the country out of its prolonged recession, others believe that such an act would defy Reagan's wishes.
"If President Reagan hid the money there, it was for a good reason," Sen. Lamar Alexander (R-TN) said. "Perhaps he was creating an anticommunist slush fund. Or perhaps, as one of his notebooks stated, he was hiding it from invisble pirates. Either way, we must not taint this great man's legacy by spending these precious funds on trifling social programs. If anything, we need to preserve Reagan's memory by sinking the entire payload into an unviable space-based antimissile system."Regardless of the final allocation of the uncovered trillions, most Americans are simply marveling at the late president's astounding feat.
"When he said he wanted to put money back into America, I didn't think he meant it literally," Maine resident Michael Stargeon said. "I guess the poor man wasn't as crazy as everyone thought. Turns out he was a complete fucking lunatic."
"A report says that the first state that's coming out of the recession is going to be the state of Texas...I said, 'We're in a recession?'" Texas Governor Perry, who's about to secede from the governor's mansion
"This gaffe is going to stick. It is going to be national news. It will come back to haunt him. You cannot be callous and cavalier when people are losing their jobs and their homes. Everybody knows someone who is suffering. It could cost him the race." Paul Begala, Link
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Republican Popularity Plummeting
As They Continue Boarding The Crazy Train
Wow - they're down to only 25% of whites
and less than 5% of non-whites trust them?
Excerpt:
Consider the variety of overtly racist rhetoric that has plagued us since Obama's election. Haley Barbour's "right hand" speaking at
a racist conference. Racist emails circulated by Republican staffers. Republicans demonstrating in Klan outfits. Republican mayors
depicting the White House behind a watermelon patch. And campaign tactics which included depicting Obama's face surrounded by
fried chicken and watermelon, posters and websites attempting to link Obama to bin Laden, Pakin praising a racist writer, and more.
In July, Senator George Voinovich (R-Oh) publicly complained that the GOP is "being taken over by southerners."
Tim Pawlenty voiced similar fears a year ago. Senators Snowe and Collins are worrying about the GOP's increasingly narrow base.
The future does not hold much hope for the GOP when the response of various demographics are taken into account.
America is becoming increasingly multi-cultural, and support for the GOP amongst minorities is at the bottom of the barrel.
Ha ha. The racist sons of bitches are getting what's coming to them.
Of course, it's not from the democrats - they're too afraid to fight.
But the less-white-every-day voters are angry with the party of racist bastards.
Can we hold the 2010 elections early?
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"If it wasn't for Fox or talk radio we'd be done as a republic." Glenn Beck, Link
"Satan's mentally challenged younger brother." Stephen King, describing Glenn Beck, Link
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The Origin of Species
Efforts on YouTube by actor-turned-evangelist Kirk Cameron to promote a give-away on university campuses of 50,000 copies of Charles Darwin's Origin of Species, which includes a 50-page creationist rebuttal, appear to have backfired as a video by a young Romanian woman assailing Cameron's has gone viral. As of this morning (Tuesday), the video by the woman (who calls herself ZOMGitsCriss) had been viewed by nearly 160,000 YouTube visitors: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmHN3JtyUXg&feature=player_embedded
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Douche Blitzer bombs on Jeopardy
I told you he's the dumbest block of wood at CNN
Excerpt:
CNN host Douche Blitzer may know his news, but when it comes to "Jeopardy!," Blitzer just might be the dumbest political monkey to play the game since braindead Cokie Roberts.
In a scene seemingly taken from "Saturday Night Live," the Douche had trouble with every question on "Celebrity Jeopardy! on Thursday, leaving a score of negative $4,600 at the end.
Swear to Koresh, I have an IQ of 64 but *I* wouldn't land in negative territory because I've got the brains to only ring in when I knew the damn answer.
Douche Blitzer has been CNN's premier moron for over a decade. "This funeral will be somewhat emotional for Teddy's widow," said The Douche 2 weeks ago. How can CNN expect to be taken seriously with this rubber hose in charge?
Thank God for Glenn Beck, right Douche?
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"We ought to look at these things seriously and we ought to ask all the questions that we have," Hatch insisted, before proceeding to ask staffers with no experience in constitutional law at least four separate questions about the phony issue regarding the constitutionality of the individual mandate. The Wonk Room has more.
Ted would have been proud.
Of course in Snatch's Utah, g-pukes are viewed favorably:
The party of Hoover will, of course, try to blame the entire mess in Afghanistan on Obama. That is sort of like having a baseball game where the starting pitcher throws for eight innings, leaves with a seven-run deficit and then blaming the relief pitcher for the loss. Bush had seven years to do something about Afghanistan and he did nothing. It is beyond the point of dispute that Bush neglected the Afghan War.
Keep reading: http://eb-misfit.blogspot.com/2009/09/when-contemplating-afghan-war-number-to.html
A little know fact about Eisenhower's Military-Industrial complex speech:
In the penultimate draft of the address, Eisenhower initially used the term military-industrial-congressional complex, and thus indicated the essential role that the United States Congress plays in the propagation of the military industry. But, it is said, that the president chose to strike the word congressional in order to placate members of the legislative branch of the federal government.
And then you have this:
Going after ACORN may be like shooting fish in a barrel lately—but jumpy lawmakers used a bazooka to do it last week and may have blown up some of their longtime allies in the process.The congressional legislation intended to defund ACORN, passed with broad bipartisan support, is written so broadly that it applies to "any organization" that has been charged with breaking federal or state election laws, lobbying disclosure laws, campaign finance laws or filing fraudulent paperwork with any federal or state agency. It also applies to any of the employees, contractors or other folks affiliated with a group charged with any of those things.
In other words, the bill could plausibly defund the entire military-industrial complex. Whoops.
Can a brother get a "Heh-Indeedy?"
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More change you can believe in
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How long can America function without an ambassador to Spain?
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Opening Night
It had everything: A new state-of-the-art $1.1 billion stadium. A TV screen that can be seen from space. A coin toss by the former pretzaldent. A separate skybox just for your ego. Getting to pick your nose inside your brand new luxury suite…
And…
Losing to your division rivals, the NJ Giants, on Sunday Night Football. Bwahahahahahaha!
Suck it, Jerry! Ha ha ha ha ha!
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The same war-mongering neocon traitors who brought you the Project for a New American Century, whose raison d'etre, whether overtly acknowledged or not, was to turn the United States into an aggressor nation that takes the resources (read: OIL) of other nations - are back.
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This ought to be the top story on every paper's business page tomorrow, so of course it will get a snippet like this on the last page before the stock tables Pacific Gas & Electric has resigned from the U.S. Chamber of Commerce because of the Chamber's stubborn denial of climate change. PG& E Chairman and Chief Executive Peter Darbeewrote wrote on the companies blog that the employees of PG&E "find it dismaying that the Chamber neglects the indisputable fact that a decisive majority of experts have said the data on global warming are compelling and point to a threat that cannot be ignored." Call it a hunch, but I rather imagine that PG&E's reality-based position has something to do with replacing more and more electricity infrastructure every year as every fire season is worse than the last. Rather hard to deny when it smacks you in the face like that.
